The Best Throw
by Aussiegirl101
Summary: A Bella, an Edward, a friendship, desire, missed opportunity and a stupid game of darts. Will these soul mates ever get out of their own way to be together? Set in Sydney cause that's how I roll.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns. As far as I'm aware, she's never been to Australia. I like it when Edward lives close.**

**A/N: So, I used a couple of Witfit prompts in April/May and this simple story started in my head. The first few chapters have been expanded on but may seem familiar, if you read those Witfit entries. I think around 20 chapters in total. They have now been beta'd by my gorgeous and talented friend, rinabina. She is a much more prolific author than I.**

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**The Best Throw – Chapter 1**

Their office space was no more than a converted one-bedroom apartment. It contained an ancient air conditioning unit mounted on the wall, but they usually opted for the open window, preferring a natural breeze and the diverse sounds of the street, one floor below.

The two young women had done their best to make the space look like a creative work environment. With the help of friends, they had painted the walls in stark tones of industrial grey and off-white. Rather than sanding the floorboards they had painted over them in a shade of dull rust. The floorboards were intentionally treated carelessly so they had become decorated here and there with scruff marks, either from the scrape of a designer shoe or the drop and drag of a delivery box.

On an exposed and rough-hewn brick wall, hung a number of framed prints of their favourite movie posters from the 1930s to the 1960s. Gene Tierney in _Leave Her To Heaven_ and _Laura_ graced the wall alongside Bette Davis in _All About Eve_ and Gregory Peck in _To Kill A Mockingbird_. The girls could name every typeface used, with pride.

Rose Hale and Bella Swan had taken out a twelve-month lease on the rooms above a butcher shop in Queen Street, in Sydney's inner eastern suburb of Woollahra. The manager of the butcher shop was an irrepressible flirt, a young Turkish-Australian named Ardi. He was short and round and boisterous. They boosted his ego with harmless banter and he occasionally sold them steak at an affordable price. It was an equitable relationship.

The girls loved everything about working in Queen Street; they had become part of the local community and greeted shopkeepers and café owners by name. The nearby streets were tree lined, the gums, figs and liquid ambers arching over the road like the curved roof of a cathedral.

The close-knit shopping district was village like in nature, framed at the east and west by carefully restored and elegantly maintained Victorian Terraces and sandstone cottages. Sharply dressed suits walked the streets alongside smartly coiffed mothers with designer prams and eternally hip young things, determined in their obviousness to be unintentionally disheveled.

To the local residents, Woollahra shopping village held the status of chic yet ambivalent affluence but to the diverse group of people who worked there it was a place to make a living.

Having their own office space made them feel as though their business was legitimate. Well, it was better than working from home and there was plenty of great coffee, within walking distance.

Over the last few years, they had made a name for themselves as cutting edge graphic designers. They had a number of regular clients in the film and television industry, plus a few advertising companies that liked to outsource, occasionally.

Professionally, if not personally, things were really starting to take off.

Bella's eyes were strained from staring at her computer screen all day. She was working on the first round of mocks for a new film poster and it was coming together nicely. The movie was set on the rugged and pristine bush land and coastline of Kangaroo Island in South Australia. The background image alone was stunning. The clarity in the original photograph, its simple and honest beauty, took Bella's breath away.

Jacob had always talked about them taking a holiday there, getting away from it all. Together, bonding with nature, romantic, just the two of them.

Bella blinked hard, her eyes began to film over and she squinted, trying to maintain composure. Suddenly, all the font weights before her started to look exactly the same and then various lines of text began to jump up and down of their own accord. Bella was all at sea in a tidal wave of hopelessness and her head hung heavily, continuing to sink until it rested on top of her arms. It was time to call a ten-minute break.

"Bella, I'm not kidding, I can't take much more of this," groaned Rose in exasperation. Pushing herself to her feet and standing behind the other woman, she grabbed Bella's hair by her ponytail and pulled back her head slowly, from where it was lying on her forearms.

"What? I was resting," she mumbled into her pale skin.

"No, you were wallowing. And you're meant to be working." Rose twisted her own long, fair hair into a knot and stuck a pencil through it to hold it in place.

"Yeah," Bella admitted resignedly. "Five years, Rose. Five _years._"

Rose gave her best friend's thick, chocolate locks an affectionate tug and released them, crossing her arms and staring down at the defeated looking woman. Bella straightened her posture in her office chair and looked up to meet Rose's unflinching gaze.

"Doesn't five wasted years deserve a little wallowing?" Her voice sounded brittle, hollow and nothing like the vibrant young woman Rose had known since their days together at university.

"Sure. But it's done, Bella. It's finished. Time to move on."

Bella dropped her head to her chest and narrowed her eyes, regarding her fingernails with intense fascination, her brows drew together and she sighed. Rose had watched Bella suffering with the aftermath of her breakup with Jacob Black for the last two weeks. In truth, she had been conscious of the steady decline of their relationship for over a year, so the final break was not unexpected or, from Rose's point of view, unwelcomed.

Unfortunately, it had been an unwelcomed surprise and shock to Bella.

Jacob's affair with Leah, from his office, had come at Bella completely out of left field. Of course, Bella had walked in on the two of them going at it, in her own bed, during the middle of the day. Her initial reaction was one of astonishment, both at the energy and enthusiasm she was witnessing. It was something that had been sorely lacking from Bella's own sex life for quite some time.

She saw that moment as such a _Sliding Doors_ cliché.

Once caught out, Jacob had openly confessed, admitting he had been unhappy in his relationship with Bella for a while and was now desperately in love with his office secretary.

Rose gritted her teeth at the thought of what Bella had walked in on. It would have been enough to shatter anyone's confidence, not to mention being completely repulsive. She shuddered. She really didn't like Jacob, never had. She thought he was an over-muscled, overly controlling bore.

Rose also believed that Jacob had made Bella old before her time. They had become a jaded, domesticated, middle-aged couple in their mid-twenties, when they _should _have been out, having fun. Cynically, Rose considered how convenient it had been for Jacob to have a new relationship, already lined up before the old one was done and dusted.

For some reason, Rose's words about moving on finally resonated with Bella. She had closed her eyes and had begun shaking her head, back and forth, drawing deep, cleansing breaths. "You know what?" she said, her voice growing in confidence and determination. "You're right. Enough. I need a change of pace."

Rose's face broke into a broad grin. "Now you're talking. It's Friday. We're going out, after work. Finish that edit and save it," she said, pointing a manicured finger at Bella's computer screen. "I'm calling Alice and Edward."

By nine o'clock that evening, the four friends were sitting together, at a corner table in a bar just outside of the city, in Darlinghurst. Bella was not normally such a lightweight, but given that the only food they had eaten was a shared plate of nachos and she had already consumed more than her body weight in beer, she was flying.

"How?" she slurred, leering at her friends. "How, can four such _gorgeous_ looking young people all be sitting here, _available_ on a Friday night? I ask you?"

"I may be out on my own but I'm certainly not available, Bella," stated Alice Brandon, pertly. "Neither is Rose."

Alice, who worked as a high school art teacher, had been dating Jasper Whitlock, a history professor and co-worker, for a couple of months. Rose had been with man-mountain and not-nearly-as-dopey-as-he-looked, Emmett McCarty, since their last year of university. Emmett was an engineer, working for a small but prestigious construction firm.

"Oh right." Bella scrunched up her face dramatically. "I forgot. I'm the only single loser here tonight."

"Bella? How about you slow down for a sec and drink some water?" suggested Edward, gamely.

"Get stuffed, Cullen," grinned Bella. Her cheeks ballooned briefly as she suppressed a belch. "No, no, no, my friends. I intend to get myself fully plastered this evening, like it's my _job_." She rested her face on her palm and leaned toward Edward, her lack of coordination resulting in a rather pathetic attempt to flutter her eyelashes. "You'll look after me, won't you, doll face?"

"Always," he answered, a small smile tugging one side of his mouth.

Bella regarded Edward for a moment and then her brows drew together. She leaned back in her seat, consternation crossing her features and hardening her gaze. "Doesn't hanging out with us amount to fraternizing with the enemy?"

Edward Cullen and Jacob Black had been best friends since high school. They had bonded with the three girls over a drunken night of darts during their second year of university; the night Jacob beat Edward in a game and won the right to ask Bella out on a date.

Both Edward and Jacob were a couple of years older than the girls. After high school they had spent about eighteen months travelling around Europe and the UK. Judging from the unsubtle digs they regularly gave each other, they had been rather indiscriminate in their willingness to chase anything with two X chromosomes across a vast number of countries. Technically they started their degrees as 'mature-aged' students, although there wasn't too much 'mature' about either of them in those early days of their friendship with Rose, Bella and Alice.

It was almost six years since then. Both Jacob and Edward now worked in finance and were steadily climbing the corporate ladder, Jacob working for a merchant bank and Edward for a large mining conglomerate.

The three girls teased Edward endlessly about his continued womanizing tendencies. Ever since they had known him, he had a constant stream of girlfriends but no one seemed to last more than a couple of months. He always had plenty to choose from; girls flocked to Edward like Seagulls fighting over a potato chip at the beach.

"Let's be clear on one thing, Bella," said Edward firmly, his long fingers picking absentmindedly at the label on his imported beer. "As far as I'm concerned, Jacob is a prized idiot. He and I haven't seen eye-to-eye for a long time now."

Bella squeezed Edward's hand briefly and his eyes widened. "Okay, okay, thanks dude," she slurred. "But, _noooo _heavy talk tonight. Sorry, I shouldn't have started, alright?" Her coordination was so drunkenly hampered now that she blinked both eyes instead of winking at him. Edward laughed through his nose and shook his head.

Bella pushed some loose strands of hair back from her face and frowned again. "Anyway Edward, where _is_ your latest squeeze tonight? Are we depriving some pining wallflower of your scintillating company and sexual prowess?"

Edward chuckled. "Nah. Firstly, this is a night for _my_ girls, not some random girlfriend. And secondly," he coughed to clear his throat, "I'm not seeing anyone right now."

Bella's head felt fuzzy and decidedly heavy, so she rested it on the table along her outstretched arm. She turned her face to stare up at her three friends. "Hey, Edward. Come to think of it, I haven't seen you with anyone for ages. Not since Erika what's-her-face with the so-called acting career. When _was _that?"

"Last year," said Rose pointedly, staring levelly at Edward. Edward began chewing on the inside of his cheek and picked some more at his beer label.

"That can't be right, that's more than-"

"About a year ago," Rose interrupted, still staring at Edward. "Come on Cullen, you owe me a dance." She held out her hand and he took it, puffing out a heavy, relieved breath.

Alice and Bella clinked glasses and took a swig from their drinks as they watched their friends move onto the dance floor. "Drink up, Bella," said Alice. "We need to head out there too."

"Woo hoo," cried Bella holding her arms above her head. "I'm into it." She cocked her head to one side. "Hey Al? Have you ever known Edward to be without a girlfriend before?"

"Um," said Alice, sipping her drink quickly to occupy her mouth. She looked around the room, avoiding making eye contact with Bella and shrugged. "Who knows? You ready to dance?"

Bella gripped the table and pulled herself shakily to her feet, moving her hips suggestively side-to-side, her arms raised above her head. "Let's _do_ this," she cried goofily.

Alice held her drunken friend's arm firmly and guided their way to the dance floor.

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**A/N: Thanks so much for reading...your thoughts are cherished.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns but it's too sunny for vampires in Sydney.**

**A/N: You guys! It gave me the warm fuzzies seeing the familiar names in the reviews - thank you to those of you who have come back to read another story of mine - and welcome new readers. **

**Thank you, as always, to the supremely talented Rinabina for beta-ing, her advice and her love of David Tennant. She knows commas like I know chocolate brownies.**

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**The Best Throw – Chapter 2**

Multi-coloured lights were pulsing rhythmically and the DJ was clapping in time to the beat, laughing at the sight before him.

Bella had one arm around Edward and the other slung over Rose's shoulder; Alice completed the quartet, hugging Rose's other side. They were stomping and singing obnoxiously to the Proclaimer's song, _500 miles_. Their attempts to interlace their pacing footsteps were laughable, to say the least. Luckily, there was a good vibe in the club that night and most people had fallen back on the dance floor to smile indulgently, and watch. A few even clapped in encouragement, along with the DJ.

The song drew to its inevitable conclusion and a more typical dance beat began pounding; the crowd surged forward to reclaim the dance space. Bella was drunk, sweaty and high on adrenalin and bad singing. She turned her body to stand in front of her friend and clasped both of Rose's shoulders. Blinking hard, she looked up dazedly into the taller woman's face. "I love you, Rose," she said, and quickly reaching around to the back of Rose's neck, yanked her face down, planting a loud, wet kiss on her lips.

"Thanks, honey. I love you too." Rose smirked, completely unfazed. She placed her hands on Bella's hips to steady her.

Bella swung her body violently in the opposite direction and slammed into Alice, smooshing her face between her two hands before placing a longer, more lingering kiss on Alice's lips. "I love you, too, Alice," she murmured, drunkenly before mashing her lips, one over the other, repeatedly. "Damn, you taste good."

"Oh Bella," sighed Alice, looking a touch concerned.

Bella released Alice and retraced her steps, coming to stand directly in front of Edward. She slammed her palms, hard, into his chest before lifting her head to stare at his wide-eyed expression.

Edward licked his lips involuntarily and swallowed.

Bella narrowed her eyes and studied Edward's face more closely. She took in the square angle of his jaw and his smooth and pale skin, peppered with designer evening stubble. He was flushed, high on his cheekbones. Then there were his eyes. Damn those eyes, they saw everything. His pupils were enlarged and reflecting the flashing lights from the dance floor. Bella smacked his chest once more, for emphasis. "You're pretty!" she blurted loudly.

Edward released a breath he wasn't aware of holding and cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah, I'm pretty," he chuckled. "But I still think my face could pass for an anime character."

"Pfft," said Bella, flapping her lips more than what would be considered ladylike. "What you don't realise," she said, stabbing a finger repeatedly in his chest. "Anime could play to your advantage, Edward. If you were Howl, I'd marry you in a heartbeat." She didn't notice his sharp intake of breath at her inebriated drawl.

Edward liked to tease Bella about her unnatural and, in his opinion, unhealthy, obsession with anime films. _Howl's Moving Castle_ was a particular favourite and she waxed lyrical about it, and the title character, constantly.

He recovered his composure to mutter sardonically, "What is it with you and that damned cartoon anyway?"

"He's a creation of Miyazaki, Edward! Not a _cartoon_. Plus, I love him like he's real. You know this."

Edward gave her a smug, indulgent grin.

A slow, romantic song began to play and Bella's thoughts immediately turned to Jacob. Jacob never liked dancing with her to slow songs. Usually he would grab her hand and drag her away from the dance floor, grinning and rolling his eyes. He was too cool for public demonstrations of togetherness so they always sat down and he would order another round of drinks.

Right now though, Edward's large hands were resting softly on Bella's bare upper arms, moving up and down, and making her feel warm all the way through her body. She felt an irrepressible urge. She wanted to be held, to feel cherished. "Dance with me, you old tart," she teased playfully, attempting to hide the much deeper emotion that lurked, just beneath the surface.

"How could I refuse such an endearing offer?" Edward grinned and pulled Bella deeper into his arms. He needed to hold her up to keep her steady, more than she realised.

Edward, together with Rose and Alice, had taken Bella out this evening knowing that she was finally ready to let off steam about Jacob and wanting to support her while she did so. But as Edward held her unsteady form he could feel the effects of too much alcohol that had her on the verge of losing control. He cursed himself for not taking better care to ensure she had eaten properly and decided right then to keep her dancing for as long as possible. As long as she was dancing, she wasn't drinking and it would allow her body time to adjust to the amount of alcohol she had already consumed.

"That's nice," she sighed as she felt Edward's long fingers stroking through her hair and down her back. About half way through the song they both realised that Bella's eyes were streaming with tears.

"Shush," Edward cradled Bella's head and held her close. "Things are going to get better Bella, I promise." Bella began to hiccup through her sobs and the tears continued to fall. "Here, use my shirt," he murmured, feeling helpless.

Bella rubbed her cheeks back and forth across Edward's pale grey t-shirt to dry her face and sniffed audibly, twice. "Classy," he snickered into her hair.

"You know, I'm not even crying because I miss him or because I'm sad that it's over…I just can't believe I didn't see it coming." She twisted her head to stare at the underside of Edward's jaw. "When I walked in on the two of them…Edward…I was _so_ mad." She continued to look up and watched in fascination as Edward's jaw tensed. It looked as though he was grinding his teeth.

"I lost it, totally. Screaming and ranting like an lunatic." She shrugged. "Why couldn't I have been cool about it, like Gwyneth in _Sliding Doors_?" Bella stopped swaying to the music and slapped Edward's chest for a third time.

"Would you cut that out, please?" he said, falling back slightly and rolling his eyes. "I'm going to bruise."

Bella went on, oblivious. "Why couldn't _I_ have had a parallel life where I met and went out with the perfect guy? Someone just right for me instead of _Jacob_?" She spat out his name in disgust. Edward pulled Bella back into his arms and stared fixedly, straight ahead, swaying them slightly to the beat of the music.

Bella sighed and went limp in his embrace. "Oh, yeah. I'd probably be dead, right now." She groaned. "And _blonde. _Yikes." She knew she was rambling but she couldn't stop. "I don't know. Maybe all of this happened for a reason. Maybe my perfect guy is out there somewhere, waiting."

Edward swung his head around frantically until he made eye contact with Rose, who was back, seated at their table. His eyes were wide and his expression was pleading, desperate. Rose shook her head firmly and mouthed the words, "No. Not. Now."

Edward rested his cheek on top of Bella's head and tightened his hold on her, just slightly. "I hope so, Bella – I really do," he murmured. "Do you want to sit down for a bit, get a drink of water?"

"No," Bella said, snuggling herself into the comforting warmth of her friend. "I'm good, here."

After a few moments, Bella's body went rigid and she stepped back, her eyes bugging out. She snapped her fingers. "I've got it!"

"Got what?" he said, exasperated by her mood swings.

"Well, you haven't been with anyone for a while. Lord knows I haven't been getting any for a good, long while. Edward. You and me. I know what we need."

Edward felt his mouth go dry. "What?"

"A one night stand. _That's _what we need." Bella's eyes narrowed dramatically and she swiveled her head, scanning the club. "I'm scouting the club for you, _you_ scout for me."

"Bella," he said, his tone held a note of warning. "That's not you. You don't do stuff like that."

She raised her head to look up at him again. "Maybe that's my problem. _Maybe_ that's exactly what I need. Nothing like some meaningless sex to break me out of this slump." Bella's eyes were wild and glassy. Edward knew it was the drink, and possibly grief talking right now.

He was frowning and shaking his head. "Bella, I don't think it's such a good idea."

"Piss off, Cullen. I thought you were my friend? I'm doing this, with your help or without it." She narrowed her eyes once more in an attempt to focus so that only one Edward was visible before her. "Well?" She crossed her arms defiantly but felt the floor tilt, dangerously. "Are you with me, or not?"

Before he could formulate an answer, Bella felt herself pitch forward and the ground hurtled into her line of sight at a rapid rate. She couldn't be certain but she was pretty sure she wouldn't feel a thing when she finally hit the polished concrete floor.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading...your thoughts are cherished.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns. No lycra was harmed in the writing of this story.**

**A/N: Welcome back. Thank you to the ridiculously talented Rinabina for beta-ing and all her advice. She has no need for hand puppets - she can sew.**

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**The Best Throw – Chapter 3**

_Twelve months prior…_

Since their university days ended, and when they all started working full time, it was a weekly ritual to keep their friendship intact.

Late, Sunday morning coffee at the local café.

Alice was first to arrive and she grabbed the prime position, an outside corner table in the sun. Rose got there shortly after and placed the orders. They were creatures of habit, always ordering the same - mocha for Alice, latte for Rose and skim cappuccinos for Edward and Bella.

Edward arrived, sweaty from his morning cycle. He propped his bike against a telegraph pole, removing his helmet and clipping it around the handlebars. He shook his head, running his hands through his damp, eternally messy hair. He spotted the girls and lifted his chin, greeting them with a friendly smirk and a two-fingered wave.

As she always did, whenever he wore his cycle pants, Rose cocked an eyebrow and gave him a pointed stare as he strode over to the table.

"Piss off Rose, it stops me from chaffing," he defended with indignant self-righteousness.

"Hey, I'm all for a man in elastic pants." Rose nodded emphatically. "It leaves nothing to the imagination and it's a great form of advertising, babe," she added, chuckling evilly.

Edward sat down quickly and pulled his chair under the table, covering up the parts of him that suddenly felt very exposed. He narrowed his eyes at Rose. "Anyway, they're _lycra_. Why are you even looking? You in the market, Hale?"

"Hah!" she said. "We tried that once, remember? Biggest disaster of all time. Honestly, kissing you was like kissing my brother."

"Oh, things are like _that_ in your family?" said Edward, giving her a taunting look. Rose rolled her eyes at him, refusing to bite.

Edward stretched his neck, looking one way and then the other, searching eagerly up and down the street. "Where's Bella?"

Alice piped up, using air quotes. "Jacob had some _incredibly important_ dragon boat race this morning. She's gone to watch." Both girls noticed the way Edward's shoulders slumped, ever so slightly. "Oh," he said, his voice soft before he sipped his coffee. "Whose turn to pay this morning?"

"I've already got it," said Alice and Edward absentmindedly nodded his thanks.

About two years prior, Jacob had gotten into dragon boat racing, big time. Jacob was a 'pacer', one of the leading pair of twenty paddlers in a decoratively painted, Chinese, dragon-headed long boat. He loved the precision of the sport and the strength and defined muscles it gave to his upper body. Boat racing and his body became his obsession, and his attendance at Sunday morning coffee dropped off sharply.

Bella still came most weeks, unless Jacob required her presence to cheer him on and revere his rowing prowess. Jacob's absence wasn't missed anymore. His contributions to conversation had gradually melded into frequent, personal gloating. He rarely listened, finding his own life an infinitely more interesting topic than anything going on in the weekly exploits of his friends. Of the five of them, he had probably changed the most over the years and the dynamic when he was around was never as relaxed or easy going.

"So," began Rose, directing her attention once more to Edward. "What are you and Erika getting up to, later today?"

"Erika?" said Edward, wrinkling his nose inquisitively.

"Yes, Erika, your _girlfriend_. Remember her?"

"Oh," he drawled as realisation dawned. "Yeah. Over. Finished. Broke up a week and a half ago." He shrugged.

"I can see you're completely shattered by it." Alice's voice was dry as toast.

"Well, we weren't going anywhere. No point in prolonging the inevitable."

Rose and Alice exchanged a glance. They were pretty sure that Edward wasn't aware how despondent he sounded at his last statement. Alice lifted her brows in query and Rose nodded.

Alice squared her shoulders and drew a deep breath. "How long are you going to let this go on for, Edward?"

"What? I told you. We broke up." His fingers fiddled with his coffee cup and he kept his eyes downcast.

"This nonsense, random girlfriend after random girlfriend. It's a vicious cycle."

"What?" he looked up quickly and laughed openly.

"None of them are ever going to measure up," added Alice. Edward pulled his standard, _I have no idea what you're talking about,_ face.

"Stop that," said Rose, crossly. "It's a stupid expression."

"What. Are. You. Talking. About?" he said, using his hand like a puppet, opening and closing on each syllable.

"Don't be a smartarse, Edward. We want to help you," said Alice.

Rose leaned back in her chair and steepled her hands across her flat stomach. She regarded Edward for a full minute before seemingly reaching a decision. She narrowed her eyes. "Remember how we all met?"

"Of course." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, wary of where the conversation was heading.

"You and Jacob put on that embarrassing macho display, challenging each other to a game of darts to win the right to ask Bella out on a date." Edward's expression remained passive. "You lost," Rose added. Edward gave a one-shouldered 'whatever' shrug, in response.

"Do you remember all the women you started to date, after that night? Blondes, redheads, girls with black hair, tall girls, short girls, sporty girls, party girls? They were all _so_ different."

"What can I say? I'm an equal opportunity dater." Edward's smile was smug but there was a tightness behind his eyes.

"There were never any brown-haired girls, though," said Alice, pointedly. Edward gave another defiant, one-shouldered shrug but his smile had slipped.

Rose continued, "And then, the last couple of years, _every, single girl_ looks the same. They're all slim, pale, with long brown hair and brown eyes. All of them, Edward."

"Your point-"

"Edward, I think it's time that you admit it." Alice reached out to pat his forearm but Edward snatched it off the table, an automatic, defensive response.

"You're adopting all these different strategies, trying to convince yourself that she's not the one for you," said Rose. She dropped her shrewd expression and her eyes softened. "Babe, the strategies? They aren't working."

"Whether you're ready to admit it or not, Edward. _We know_," said Alice.

There was a bottle of water on the table. Edward became fascinated with it; drawing patterns with his index finger in the condensation on the glass. "Fantastic," he snapped, churlishly. "What is it that you think you know?"

"You're in love with Bella," said Rose confidently, leaning forward across the table and locking eyes with Edward.

Edward didn't move for an age and stared fixedly at Rose. He kept his mouth closed but his breathing became more pronounced, his shoulders rising and falling with increasingly laboured breaths through his nose. Suddenly, he dropped his gaze, squeezed his eyes shut and sunk his face into his hands.

The girls exchanged another meaningful glance but left Edward alone until he composed himself. When he lifted his head his eyes were dry but red-rimmed, his expression haunted. "I'm so fucked," he murmured softly.

"Maybe," said Alice.

"What maybe?" he cried in exasperation. "She's going to marry the dickhead. You know she will."

"I thought he was your best friend."

"Not anymore. He's changed. He's become some sort of right-wing, corporate machine; everything he does is about the pay-off, what's going to get him ahead. He used to care about things, about people." His brows drew together and he frowned at the two girls. "I know you've noticed it too." He went back to tracing patterns and mumbled under his breath, "He treats her like she's a possession. And he doesn't deserve her."

Edward flattened his palms on the tabletop and Rose reached out to place her fingers over the back of his left hand. This time he kept his hand still but his entire posture was rigid. "For what it's worth?" she said. "We agree with you."

"You do?" he responded pathetically.

"Edward," Alice scoffed. "He tells her what to wear, what books she should read, what music to listen to, how to cut her hair. He practically never lets her out with us unless it's something _he_ wants to do. He's become such a control freak-"

Rose butted in, "Unfortunately, she doesn't see it. Not yet."

"But what can we do?" asked Edward, helplessly.

"Not much. She's not ready to hear criticism about Jacob from us. Not yet. And if we try, we might lose her." Alice eyed both her friends, knowingly. "I'm not prepared to take that risk." Out of habit, she scrunched her short, dark hair, unintentionally leaving it effortlessly chic and gamine.

Rose continued, "Either Bella will work this out for herself, or Jacob will do something monumentally stupid to stuff everything up." She gave Edward's hand an encouraging squeeze. "I'm pretty sure this relationship isn't going to end in marriage."

"How can you be so sure? He's got his hooks in so deep." Edward sighed resignedly.

"Well," drawled Alice. "We think there's something _you_ can do."

"Me?"

"Clean up your act," Rose cut in sharply. "All this mindless dating and screwing around, trying to find someone to replace her." She pulled herself upright to sit taller in her seat. "When this relationship with Jacob does go pear-shaped, and I'm pretty sure it will, do you want her to consider you seriously?"

Edward's mournful expression spoke volumes.

"Well, step up, dude. Stop acting like such a slut. Show some restraint around women. Focus on making yourself a man worthy of our Bella. Show her that she's worth waiting for."

Edward spun his coffee cup around in a slow circle and muttered, "I don't know. I realised I blew it, years ago. So stupid." He paused for a moment and inexplicably, the floodgates opened and he began to talk.

"The night we met you guys? She floored me, completely. It was like being hit by a battering ram. She was so damned pretty and she gave me such lip, putting me in my place. I was a goner. I wanted to date her so badly." He sighed heavily and changed the direction he was turning his coffee cup.

"And to miss my chance over a stupid game of darts? Seriously, what an arsehole."

"No argument here," said Alice. Rose nodded in tacit agreement.

"Thanks, guys."

"What? You said it." Alice shrugged.

Edward raised his eyebrows in acquiescence. "Yeah, well. When she got together with Jacob, I tried to get over her by dating women who were so completely different – physically, in their personality - seeing if maybe someone resonated with me more than she did."

He lifted his face and shook his head sadly at the two women. "Nothing."

Edward picked up his spoon and swiped at the chocolate foam in his cup, sucking on it thoughtfully before continuing. "So, I decided to try dating women who physically reminded me of her. I thought maybe I had a type…maybe I could replace her with someone who had a similar look to her." He smiled sadly at the table. "What an idiot. I mean…she's beautiful to me but…she's so much more than the way she looks. There's no one like Bella. I could never find someone to replace her."

He rubbed his fingers through his sweaty hair in frustration. "None of them ever make me _feel_ anything. Nothing like I feel when I'm with her. She's the only one who's ever made me…I don't know…spark.

"At least I got to be her friend, got to know her better than anyone - present company excluded, of course," he added apologetically.

"It's okay, Edward. We know you two have a special connection. It's so obvious."

Edward sat in quiet contemplation for another moment. He sighed heavily. "I just...I've always wanted, I don't know...more. But I never once considered that being with Bella was an actual possibility."

"Look Edward, there are no guarantees in this," said Rose, firmly. "I don't know if you do stand a chance. But if the opportunity arose, wouldn't you kick yourself if you weren't ready for it?"

Edward continued to spin his coffee cup slowly and frowned. He realised he had a lot to think about.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading...your thoughts are cherished.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns. Pretty sure she doesn't drink to excess like old Bellar.**

**A/N: Welcome back. Thank you, as always, to the charismatic and inherently gorgeous Rinabina for beta-ing and all her advice.**

**FF has changed yet again and now you can review without signing in. Unfortunately, if you don't sign in, I can't reply to you. So if you'd like a reply (or like me to know who you are) please make sure you login before reviewing :D**

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**The Best Throw – Chapter 4**

_Back to present time and...the drunken night out…_

Bella didn't realise it but her head never hit the ground. Edward had lunged forward, cradling and lowering her gently down, before she passed out completely. He used one hand to repeatedly stroke her cheek and the other to give her shoulder a gentle shake in an attempt to rouse her. She didn't stir and he frowned deeply, gazing at the sallowness of her complexion.

Rose, Alice and a small crowd of on-lookers gathered around anxiously to see what was going on.

Edward felt panicked and useless.

"Stand back," commanded an authoritative voice. A tallish man in his late twenties, knelt beside Bella. He had shoulder length, light brown hair that seemed to wave effortlessly. He was dressed in jeans and a Beastie Boys vintage t-shirt. He knelt beside Bella's unnervingly still figure and reached to undo the top few buttons of her blouse.

"The fuck?" growled Edward and made to bat the stranger's hands away.

"It's okay, I'm a paramedic," he responded with gruff assurance.

He tucked his long hair behind his ears and looked up. "The name's Kevin." He stared calmly at Edward. "Listen, she's not breathing mate, you'd better back the hell up and let me do this."

Edward watched in helpless horror as the self-professed paramedic leaned over Bella. He opened her mouth and stuck in his finger, to make sure that she hadn't swallowed her tongue and that there was no obstruction of her airway. He rested his ear next to her mouth and chest and quickly began giving her mouth-to-mouth, followed by chest compressions.

To Edward, it felt like an age but in reality it was only brief moments before Bella's eyes fluttered open and she began to cough. Kevin rolled her to her side, in case she was about to be ill. He looked over his shoulder at Edward. "We need to get her outside into the fresh air. Give me a hand?"

"Sure, sure." Edward nodded, contrite and grateful. The two men gently half carried and half dragged the inebriated girl outside the club.

"Need to…sit…down," mumbled Bella hoarsely. Edward and Kevin propped her up to sit against the wall outside the nightclub. Edward wrinkled his nose at the grimy concrete but there was nowhere else to place her. The cool night air was instantly refreshing and Edward realised that he had started to sweat with the stress of the moment. He fanned his sticky shirt away from his body and breathed a sigh of relief as he noticed the colour begin to return to Bella's face.

Rose and Alice had followed them outside and were looking on, distressed and ashen-faced. Rose had her arm around Alice's shoulder and the smaller woman was wringing her hands together, worriedly.

"You her boyfriend?" accused Kevin sharply as he pointed a finger, palm up at Edward. Before Edward could formulate a response the other man raised his voice. "Christ mate, how could you let her get so shitfaced?"

Bella's eyes were shut and she began shaking her head, waving a palm back and forth in front of her. "No, no boyfriend," she groaned. "Not anymore. Just me. Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone." Edward couldn't help but smile with fond relief at her Renee Zellweger inspired dramatics.

"Oh," said Kevin, pulling his hair back behind his ears again. "Sorry." He grimaced at Edward. "I see what this is. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

"Yeah," confirmed Alice. "This is a break-up binge. We didn't realise she was so far gone." She called out, "Bella, honey, we're so sorry."

Edward hunkered down beside Bella and stroked her head, pushing her hair away from her sweaty face. "You feel better now, Bella?" he asked, tenderly.

Bella responded by turning her head and vomiting spectacularly into Edward's lap.

"Shit!" he cried and leapt to his feet, attempting to dispel the liquid from his jeans before it began to sink through the fabric. No such luck.

Kevin stood up and disappeared back into the club without saying a word.

"Oh, thanks I guess," muttered Edward, swiping his hands futilely over a dry patch on his jeans. "See you around."

Edward gave up trying to save his clothing and knelt on the opposite, drier side of Bella, ignoring the dampness and smell permeating from his clothes. "Feel better _now_, love?" he asked, hopefully.

Bella groaned, shaking her head some more. A fat tear escaped from the corner of her eye and she choked out, "I'm s-so sorry, Edward."

He wasn't sure what she was apologising for. Being ill all over his jeans, getting blind drunk in general, or ending their night in such dramatic fashion? He didn't care. It tore him up to see her in any kind of pain. He wanted to take it away.

"Shush, sweetheart. It's okay, don't worry about it." He held her tiny hand in one of his own and stroked the back of it with the knuckles of his other hand. "Want to sit here for a while or do you want me to put you in the car and get you home?"

"Stay, just sit, here," she murmured, her eyes remained closed. "Oh," she groaned and leaned forward, clutching his shoulder. "Make it stop moving!"

"Here." Kevin had returned suddenly and Edward instantly felt annoyed at his reappearance. He was then even more annoyed with himself because he figured he should probably still be feeling grateful to the guy.

Kevin had procured a plastic cup of iced water, which he held in front of Bella's face. In his other hand was a bunch of napkins that he held out to Edward, who accepted them with a chastened, "Thanks." He stood and attempted to clean himself up. He wanted to shower, badly.

Kevin turned his attention to Bella, speaking with cool confidence. "I know you probably don't want this but trust me, it'll make you feel better and it will give you a better taste in your mouth."

Bella shook her head sharply and her lips pressed together in a flat line. With her eyes still scrunched closed, she looked comically like a defiant child. "Just a little. Come on, you can do it," Kevin coaxed, a smile in his voice. He held the cup to her mouth and Edward looked on, a deep frown marring his forehead.

Bella took a tentative sip and then another deeper draught from the cup. She swiped her hand across her mouth and blew out a heavy breath through pursed lips. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking several times and gazed levelly at Kevin, seeing him for the first time. Kevin tucked his long hair behind his ears again and his skin flushed across his cheeks. "Hi," she said softly. "You kissed me."

Kevin chuckled. "Um, no-" he looked around at the girls and raised an eyebrow in query.

"Bella," they answered in unison. Edward glanced at them sharply and Alice shrugged.

Kevin continued, "No, Bella, I didn't kiss you. You passed out. I was resuscitating you."

"Oh," Bella sighed and leaned her head back against the wall. She took another drink from the cup and squinted one eye up at the young man. "Thank you." She smiled shyly at Kevin and he returned it with a broad, white, teeth baring smile of his own. "What's your name?" she asked, blinking her eyes at him groggily.

"Kevin. Kevin Giles." They continued to stare at each other for a few moments, just looking and smiling before Kevin spoke with his voice low, "Someone with eyes as beautiful as yours shouldn't be drinking themselves into oblivion. He's clearly an idiot who doesn't deserve you."

Edward turned and gestured wildly toward Rose and Alice, pointing two fingers down his throat and gagging. Alice clapped a hand across her mouth in horrified amusement.

"Thank you, that's a very nice thing to say, Kevin-Kevin Giles." Bella sighed. She continued to stare at him with a lazy, heavy-lidded, coquettish grin.

Edward looked in despair at his stained and smelly jeans and stamped his foot in frustration at the exchange occurring at ground zero, behind him. "Jesus, not again," he muttered and gripped the back of his neck, angrily. He huffed once and then turned back to Bella, forcing a neutral expression on his face.

"Well, thanks for your help tonight, Kevin," he said as a dismissive aside. "Bella, if you're feeling better, I think _I'd_ better get you home." He held out his hand to pull her up from the ground at the same time that Kevin did. Bella took Kevin's hand, gratefully and Edward bit down hard on the inside of his cheek.

Rose and Alice exchanged glances before striding over and taking an arm on either side of Bella. "Let's get going, honey," murmured Alice. _Thank you_ mouthed Edward, rolling his eyes heavenward.

With a curt nod and smile, the girls gave Kevin their thanks and the four friends began walking away.

They were almost to the corner of the street, about to turn into the next block where Edward's car was parked, when they heard the staccato slap of running footsteps, behind them.

"Hey, wait up!"

"Jesus Christ," muttered Edward under his breath.

Kevin came to a breathless halt in front of Bella and reached out to hold her hand. He pressed a card into her palm with his other hand. "Look, Bella, I know we haven't met under the best of circumstances…but if you'd like to catch up sometime, maybe for coffee or dinner? I'd really like that." He gave her another wide smile, waved and ran back in the direction of the club.

Bella grinned goofily at the card. "Score," she said blearily and did a pathetic attempt at a fist pump. She started to walk again and stumbled. Edward exhaled forcefully and stepped in to support her, in place of Alice. "Here," he said. "Let me."

Bella sighed and leaned heavily into Edward. He wrapped his arm just under her ribs and pulled her close to the side of his body. "I'm so tired," she moaned, resting her face on his chest.

"Nearly to the car," he encouraged softly. Even though she was tired and drunk he relished being able to hold her close. He loved how she fitted so perfectly into his side - so soft and perfect and Bella.

Suddenly, she pulled her head away from Edward and wrinkled her nose. "Oh God," she cried, clapping a hand to her mouth and dry retching. "Alice, come back," she begged.

Her eyes were round with apology. "Sorry Edward, you're a doll but I just can't with you right now. You smell, _so_ bad."

Edward could barely stand to be with himself either, so he got it. He got it but it didn't make Bella's words sting any less. He stepped back, allowing Alice to take his place. The place that belonged to him, at Bella's side.

Tonight was not going into his top ten list of favourite evenings.

He closed his eyes and counted to ten.

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**A/N: Thank you for reading...your thoughts are cherished.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns. If you like old style pubs, go to The Lord Dudley in Woollahra.**

**A/N: Welcome back. Rinabina betas for me. She gives me music, smirky smiles and perspective on life. #supportRob**

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**The Best Throw – Chapter 5**

Bella's skin tingled as she felt his large, warm palm press gently into her lower back. His fingers flexed slightly to the skin on either side of her spine before he spoke. "Duck around on the inside after you play the ball," his words were whispered into her right ear.

Bella lifted her face from her slightly bowed position and squinted at the line of players on the opposing team, four male and three female. The early evening sun was causing their bodies to cast eerie, lengthening shadows on the grass of the field. Voices rang out down the line as they shouted, calling out vaguely slanderous descriptions of the players they were marking on Bella's team.

"I've got Spider legs on the wing," shouted a stout, dark-haired male opponent, pointing and leering at Bella. She scowled at him and used her sleeve to wipe sweat from her top lip.

"The ranga's mine," called another. Edward didn't react other than to brush his right hand across his forehead, pushing back his bronzed hair. His left hand was still resting on Bella's back.

Similar shouts and whistle blows could be heard on the breeze across park. There were half a dozen or more games being played at the same time.

Bella rolled the football under her boot to Edward and quickly ran behind him and to the inside of the field. He passed the ball straight back to her and ran wide.

"Switch," he cried. Swiftly, she passed the ball back and ran hard, behind him and toward the outside of the field. "Stay with me," he growled, softly and they both drifted, turning slightly inside once more.

The opposition was confused, the opposing winger trying to mark both Edward and Bella. Edward had the ball and was thundering forward at a blistering pace, drawing the winger toward him. Just as he was about to get touched, Edward flicked the ball to Bella. She swiveled and sprinted wide to the outside with a direct run to the try line.

The rest of the team whooped and cheered as she dived and scored. Edward ran up behind her, bent low and scooped her into his arms. She threw her head back and they laughed together as he held her up by her thighs and briefly spun her around. "Well done, partner," he smirked. He set her back on her feet and tugged playfully on her ponytail. She winked at him and whacked him once on the backside.

They had always had a great partnership on the touch football field. Edward and Bella played once a week, on Monday evenings in a mixed gender competition in Queens Park. Edward was the fastest runner on the team but he had such skilled hands and was so good at calling the play that he was just as beneficial at putting others through the gaps he created. Bella read his mind so easily that she was often the one in the right position at the right time to score the tries he set up.

It was a wonderful way to relieve stress at the start of the working week. It was an even greater way for Bella to forget, even for a short while, that she was living alone for the first time in many years.

Initially, Bella had tried to pull out of playing touch football that season. Edward wouldn't hear of it and had pestered her until she agreed to stick at it. After her break-up with Jacob, her natural inclination was to become a bit of a hermit - stay at home night after night and wallow with the TV, a spoon and a punnet of ice cream. Between Rose, Alice and Edward, they had done everything in their power to ensure that didn't happen. They kept her busy, doing things with her outside of her apartment as much as possible while she came to terms with the changes and new direction her life had taken. Alone.

The touch football team was made up of a couple of friends from university and friends of friends at various places of work. They weren't overly competitive and were just as committed to playing the game as they were to having a few quick beers at the pub, The Lord Dudley, afterwards.

Everyone on the team usually stayed for at least one drink. More often than not, Edward and Bella ended up being the last to leave. They chatted, teased and laughed, often grabbing a quick bite to eat in the restaurant downstairs, before heading home. This particular evening was no exception.

"So," began Edward, slicing into his Atlantic salmon. He kept his face neutral. "How did the date go?"

Bella put down her fork. She smiled ruefully and then groaned, putting her face in her hands. "Oh God," she said.

"That good?" Edward smiled. Outwardly he appeared calm but his heart stilled in trepidation.

Bella took her hands away from her face. "What do you want to know?" she grinned and cringed at the same time.

"Everything," he said. Without thinking, he reached forward to tuck a loose strand of her hair back into her ponytail.

"Hmm, let's see," she began, tapping her index finger on her lips. Edward couldn't take his eyes off either.

"Firstly, Kevin's very good looking."

"I'll take your word for it," he responded, dryly.

"You know that putting his hair behind his ears action, that he has going?"

Edward shrugged.

"He does it _all the time_. So affected. It got old, very quickly."

Edward felt his heart thump loudly, beating with nervous hope.

Bella began counting on her fingers. "He walks through doors first, _never_ holds them open for me. He talks _constantly_ about himself – I don't think he even knew what I did for a living at the end of the evening."

Edward smirked. This he could handle.

Bella was on a roll, still counting fingers. "He checked out his own reflection in every window we passed." She placed her hand to the side of her mouth and spoke with an exaggerated whisper. "Personally, I think he perms his hair." Edward snorted in response and chuckled as she continued, pointing at her pinkie finger. "He ordered the wine without even consulting me, he split the bill and asked me for change for the tip." She paused for a moment and looked at the ceiling. "Oh, yeah. But the _best_ part was the goodnight kiss."

Edward knew Bella's recount had been too good to be true. Perhaps he couldn't handle this conversation after all? The saliva evaporated from his mouth and he licked his lips nervously. "Mmm?" he was searching hard for an air of casual indifference and worried that he was failing miserably.

"Well, he presumed that he was being invited in. _As if_. At least he walked me to my door." Edward nodded and closed his eyes briefly, forcing himself to breathe steadily. "Anyway, he leaned in-"

"Yes…"

"And then he licked a very slow, very long, very wet line along my eyebrow and across my forehead." Bella snorted into her hand. "It was one of the grossest experiences of my life."

"You're kidding?"

"What? That it was the grossest experience of my life?"

Edward waved his hand back and forth. "No, no. Did he really do that?"

Bella nodded, grinning crookedly. She lowered her voice. "I think it was meant to be sexy." They stared at each other, wide eyed for a beat and then burst out laughing.

Edward began tucking into his meal with gusto. "So," he smiled happily, waving his fork in mid-air. "Second date already planned?"

Bella placed a hand over her heart, fluttering her eyelashes and replied mockingly, "Of course. I can hardly wait." She chuckled and began tucking into her prawn and mussel paella. They ate, lost in their own thoughts for a few moments.

Edward looked up and saw Bella perfectly still and staring sadly at her half eaten dinner. "You're very quiet all of a sudden," he murmured.

Bella nodded. "It was way too soon, Edward."

"It doesn't hurt to go out on a date," he reassured her. "It doesn't have to mean anything serious."

"I know, I just…I'm not ready. To be honest it feels like I might never be ready again."

Edward reached across the table and ran his middle finger up and down the back of her hand. "Come on, that's a bit dramatic. Give it time, little duck."

Bella straightened in her chair and took a deep breath. "Anyway, enough about me. What about you, Casanova? What's going on with your sexy life?"

Edward paled and made a show of chewing his food while he collected his thoughts. "Not much," he hedged.

Bella kicked his shin under the table. "Come on, that's not like you. You _always_ have a girl in the wings. Why haven't I seen you with anyone new in so long? What's going on?"

Edward drew his brows together and considered his next words carefully. "Well, to be honest, I think it's time for me to make a change in my life too."

"What sort of change?" Bella's voice was teasingly playful. "Time to switch back to blondes?"

Edward stared at her levelly. "Well, no, actually." He paused and placed his cutlery gently on his plate. "Time to grow up. Time to make myself worthy of the right girl."

Bella scoffed. "What do you mean _make yourself worthy_. Of course you're worthy. Any girl would love to go out with you."

"I want more than to just go out with someone, Bella."

Bella dropped her eyes at the intensity of Edward's tone and stared at her wine glass. For some reason she felt her face heat. "You want more?" Her voice had become husky. She flicked her eyes to his face and quickly looked away. "So, you're looking for someone to have a more long term relationship with?"

"To be honest, I think I've found someone."

"Really?" she said, softly. "Someone serious?"

"Yes." He cleared his throat. "But I don't think she's ready to consider me a viable prospect. Not yet. I've realised that I need to take things very slowly with this woman. I can't approach this like all my other relationships. She's too special."

"Oh," said Bella and straightened, attempting to shake off the confusing feeling of unease. "How so?"

"She's my match." He smiled, shyly. "And I need her to recognise that I'm hers." Edward felt flushed by his admission, worried that he had said too much. He stretched his neck awkwardly from side to side. "So, I'm trying to grow up a little, show that I'm worth a longer term investment."

"Always the finance references with you," Bella teased but then her expression became serious. "I get it though, Edward. Good for you. She's a lucky girl."

"Maybe," he said. "We'll see."

Bella reached across the table and grasped the back of Edward's hand. "So we're both moving onto new phases in our lives?"

Edward nodded.

"Well, we're best friends and teammates. Perhaps we can help each other to move forward?"

"Perhaps we can," he said, placing his hand over hers.

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**A/N: Thank you for reading...your thoughts are cherished.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns. I'm not bitter. Nope, not me.**

**A/N: Welcome back. Thank you, as always, to the supremely talented Rinabina for beta-ing and all her advice.**

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**The Best Throw – Chapter 6**

**_From Bella Swan 2:40 AM_**

_Can't sleep. So angry. Ignore me._

**_From Edward Cullen 2:41 AM_**

_What can I do?_

**_From Bella Swan 2:43 AM_**

_Tell me where to buy a cattle prod._

**_From Edward Cullen 2:44 AM_**

_Have you looked on Ebay?_

Bella's phone began to trill seconds later.

"Hey." Edward's voice was thick with sleep.

"Hi. I'm sorry, you didn't need to call me back."

"I'm here." He could tell from the heavy nasal sound of her voice that Bella had been crying for some time. Her breathing became laboured as she sniffled and struggled to speak. "Shh, it's okay. I'm here. Take your time."

He listened to her work through the various stages of grief for the next forty minutes or so.

"What's wrong with me?"

"I'm pretty sure you're the best person I know...so, nothing."

"Why didn't he just break up with me? Why did he have to hurt me like this?"

"There isn't one good reason for anyone to cheat, Bella. Not ever."

She didn't really need him to offer her any answers, she just needed to vent and he was more than willing to be the one that she turned to.

"You know what the hardest thing is?"

"What, little duck?"

"I'm just _so lonely,_ Edward. I've never lived alone. Not in my entire life. And this bed is so big and..._empty_."

...

"Edward?"

...

"Edward? Did you fall asleep?"

Edward coughed. "No, sweetheart, I'm here."

As the weeks passed, Bella cried less and less when she was on her own in the apartment. Night after night, her body gradually inched its way from the left side of the bed until she was able to comfortably sprawl right across the middle, ignorant of the indentation left behind by Jacob's massive form. As his scent faded from the pillows, Bella's sleep became more peaceful and her dreams less troubled.

Initially, she thought her sadness was due to loneliness but after a while she realised that she and Jacob had been drifting apart for a very long time. It was a shock to learn that she had been just as isolated inside the relationship as out of it. Also, the extent of the control Jacob had exerted over Bella's life revealed itself slowly and became easier to identify with the passage of time.

One day, Bella studied her appearance in her wardrobe mirror before leaving for work. She narrowed her eyes at her reflection, evaluating how she was presenting herself to the world. Pale grey blouse, darker grey skirt and non descript black pumps. It was so corporate looking she could have been an accountant. She looked perfectly fine but each item of her clothing held the unmistakable Jacob Black stamp of approval.

She inclined her head closer to speak to the young woman before her. "Fuck it, Swan, you're a _designer_!"

Determined now, she reached into her handbag for her mobile phone and dialed quickly. The phone was answered on the second ring and Bella uttered three shocking words, "Let's go shopping." Instinctively, she pulled the phone away to save her eardrums from the overly enthusiastic response. When excited, Alice's vocal range went into another stratosphere entirely.

Some people were born to teach, dance or sing. Alice Brandon was literally born to shop and she took enormous delight in sharing unique boutiques in hideaway locations with her closest friends.

Bella smiled happily as she was dragged from one end of Paddington in the east, to across town and Newtown in the inner-west. Aside from the fact that Alice's fashion sense was decidedly 'out there', the difference between shopping with her as opposed to Jacob was that it was all about interest and encouragement rather than coercion and force. It was exactly what Bella needed.

As much as Alice placed fashion suggestions her way, when Bella showed Alice something she wanted to try on, there were no derisive comments or withering stares. She accepted Bella's choices and would merely suggest an accessory to enhance a look, happy to bow down or moderate her ideas when they became too outrageous.

"Oh Bella," she trilled, excitement rippling off her in waves. "This is like, the best day ever."

Bella grinned indulgently at her over exuberant and easily pleased friend. At the end of their shopping spree, Bella's credit card was maxed out but she was _happy_. She felt empowered.

That was a good day.

Bad days were the ones when Bella fretted about Jacob's reasons for wanting to change her and mould her into something she wasn't. Was she so lacking that she needed to be changed? Would anyone want to be with her, just the way she was? Bridget Jones' parallels aside, how had she been so willing to give up the parts of herself that made her unique?

The sensible part of her brain told her that she and Jacob were ultimately incompatible. Bella had never been a person to exude self-confidence and when she was feeling lonely and alone it was easy to believe negative things.

"Bite me, Jacob Black," Bella mumbled to herself. That was another good day when she was feeling empowered. She tapped the 'buy' button on her computer to purchase the latest release by The Temper Trap.

Bella had taken enormous delight in deleting every track by the Hilltop Hoods and Funkoars from her music library once Jacob had moved out. She really hated Australian hip-hop. In fact, it was a revelation to be able to play music in the apartment or her car based on what she alone enjoyed. To emphasise the point she cranked up her speakers and shimmied around her bedroom to a Black Keys song wearing nothing but her old cotton underwear.

An incoming text beeped on her phone. It was from Edward

_6:27 PM_

_Boy and Bear at the State Theatre 29__th__ of next month. You and me, yes?_

She smiled and typed her reply.

_6:30 PM_

_Yesssssssssss 3_

It was another item to put in the 'advantages' column regarding her break up with Jacob. Going out again to see bands that she enjoyed. More often than not, she and Edward went together. They had always bonded over similar tastes in music.

Bella felt a flicker of guilt when she considered how much time and effort Edward had spent helping her get over Jacob. The more time he spent with her, the more she was taking him away from his plans to woo his mystery woman, whoever the hell she was. On the other hand, once Edward _had_ captured the heart of the girl of his dreams, he would be a lot less available. The thought was unappealing.

Jacob, of course, came crawling back a few months after moving out. By that point, Bella had well and truly rationalised the toxicity of what they had together. She was supremely grateful at the ease she was able to withstand his pleas. In fact, she was shocked to find out how much she felt repelled by him now.

The affair with his secretary, Leah, had petered out and he was begging Bella for another chance. He left tearful messages on her mobile and home phone, desperate email messages and bunches of flowers on her doorstep.

It was an early afternoon when one such sorry bouquet arrived at the office door, and shortly after being discovered – ended in the trash.

"For Christ's sake, Bella. Tell me you told him to take a very long walk off a very short pier," Rose remarked, her voice dripping with disdain.

"Not in so many words," Bella muttered sardonically. "I believe in brevity. The text read, _PISS. OFF._" She used air quotes and raised her brows.

"Good." Rose nodded curtly. "Never underestimate the power of brevity and profanity. A few carefully thrown around 'fuck offs' can really underline your point."

Rose hooked a finger to get Bella to stand up from her desk and move over to the large, rustic table in the middle of their office that currently housed a series of mocks the girls had been working on. Bella and Rose had created some different options on a film poster for a local distribution company and were brainstorming and deciding on their preferred designs before they presented them to the client.

"This one," Rose's lacquered fingernail tapped sharply. "I like the way the modern type treatment contrasts with the vintage effect on the image." Bella nodded in agreement. They bantered back and forth and worked steadily for about twenty minutes until conversation inevitably wandered back to Jacob and his shortcomings.

"Rose, he's not a bad person per se. We're just not good together."

"Whatever," she said, flicking her hands outward. "So long as you don't go back to him."

"No, definitely not. It's well and _truly_ over."

"Good. I wonder if you realise how strong you've become through all this, how far you've returned to being the old Bella that we all knew and loved?"

Bella wove her fingers together and rested her chin on her joined hands. "Actually, I was hoping that I'd morphed into the new and improved Bella. I feel like a new woman, you know. I hope I've learned from this. I don't want to fall into the same trap again. I don't want to become so…complacent in my next relationship. I feel…stronger, more confident, really."

Rose was not known for outbursts of affection but she leapt forward and gripped Bella in a fierce hug. "Of course you are." She stood back stiffly, regaining her composure and coughed, awkwardly. "I'm heading out for coffee, want one?"

"Why don't we go for a walk? We could both use a break." Bella moved over to her desk and tapped on her keyboard to save a file. She yawned and stretched her arms above her head.

After grabbing two coffees, the girls strolled down Queen Street and turned into Jersey Road, stopping to browse the windows of designer clothing stores, home wares and art galleries. They laughed and chatted happily, pointing out likes and dislikes of items they couldn't possibly hope to afford for themselves.

The mid morning sun was hampered by the density of leaves in the aged trees on either side of the street but it still managed to warm the back of Bella's hair. "So, what do you know about this dream girl of Edward's?" She sipped her cappuccino and sighed. "Do you think she's real?"

Rose choked slightly as she moved her own coffee away from her lips. "Why would you say that?"

"He's so cagey about it. He won't even tell me her name or anything about her. Just that she's _the one_ and he wants to make himself worthy of her. What the hell does that even mean, anyway?" Bella tossed her head and muttered derisively, "_Worthy, pfft."_

Rose smiled, indulgently. "Well, I think that's why he's finally stopped seeing other women."

"I suppose." Bella was thoughtful for a moment. "He'd tell us if something was wrong, wouldn't he?"

"What on earth could be wrong?

"What if he made this girl up, to hide something, you know, like an illness – something that would stop him from dating other women?"

"You think he's sick?" Rose laughed openly. "Come on, Bella. Have you looked at Edward lately? He's more gorgeous than ever; he's brimming with health. Honestly, you let your imagination get away with you at times."

"I just don't understand why he's changed so much. It doesn't make sense to me. I'm worried about him. If there's one thing I've learned, you shouldn't change yourself for another person."

Rose linked her free arm through Bella's and tugged her close. "You are such a worrywart. Don't be concerned about Edward. He's growing up, that's all. He's not changing who he is. He's just getting ready to settle down with the right woman."

"Great. He's getting ready to live the rest of his life with the woman of his dreams while I'm bitter and twisted over five wasted years," Bella whined, petulantly. "How do we even know that she's good enough for him?"

Rose shrugged, carelessly. "What does it matter? So long as he's happy."

"It _matters_ because he's special. He needs someone who'll appreciate how funny he is, how kind and thoughtful, how anal he is about keeping his apartment tidy, how not to leave newspapers on his sofa, how he likes his toast buttered from edge to edge, how to rub his legs when he gets cramps after playing touch."

Rose quirked an eyebrow.

"Football, Rose – _touch_ football. Don't be a dickhead."

"You two have been spending a lot of time together, haven't you?"

Bella shrugged, defiantly. "We always have. We're mates. Just like you, me and Alice."

Rose narrowed her eyes at her friend before tossing her coffee cup into a nearby trashcan. "Come on, Swan. You need to get over yourself and we need to get busy. Let's get back to work and finalise these posters."

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**A/N: Thank you for reading...your thoughts are cherished.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns. I own The Artist on blu-ray. No one wants to watch it with me.**

**A/N: Welcome back. Thank you, as always, to the supremely talented Rinabina for beta-ing and all her advice.**

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**The Best Throw – Chapter 7**

"Isa-bella," he rolled his vowels with a throaty growl. "I've got two tickets for the movies, this Friday night, the silent film, _The Artist_. You in?" His voice over the phone was cocky and playful. "That French dude has a big head but the girls in the office assure me he is très sexy. Say it with me," he drawled again, "J-e-a-n Du-jar-din." And then switching to a broad, Australian twang, "That's John the garden to you, mate."

Bella imagined the ridiculous pout that would have accompanied his cheesy French accent and shrugged off an inexplicable feeling of disappointment. "Sorry Edward, Jessica and Lauren from Wagtail Films, the company we've been working for, are taking me out to a club on Friday night."

"Sure, sure, no problem," Edward responded lightly. There was a brief silence before his spoke again and his next words were clipped and sharp. "So, you're clubbing now? That's a new development."

Over the past few months, Bella's social life had consisted exclusively of Alice, Rose but particularly, Edward. She was tired of monopolizing all their time, having them worry and treat her like a fragile basket case, as though she needed babysitting to prevent falling off the deep end about Jacob.

She needed to assert her independence and had decided it was time to step outside of her comfort zone.

She had struck up quite a friendship while working with Jessica and Lauren. They were marketing assistants for Wagtail, a film distribution company. Both girls were undertaking graduate certificates in directing at the Australian Film Television and Radio school. They had grand plans for directing feature films themselves, one day. They were slightly younger than Bella, in their early twenties. They were creative and fun and they joked around and laughed easily. When they asked her out to go clubbing, the timing felt right.

"Yeah, I guess it is," she mumbled, self-consciously. "Listen Edward, Rose and I are about to jump in a cab to go to a meeting. Can I call you later?"

"No, no, you're busy, don't worry about it." There was an awkward pause and she heard him sigh. "Are you still coming shopping with me on Saturday?" Bella grinned at the hopeful tone to his question. Sometimes he sounded so young and sweet.

"Of course I am, silly. Pick me up at ten. Bring coffee, okay?"

"Sure little duck," he said warmly. "See you then." And with that he was gone.

.

.

.

For the first time in months, Bella really made an effort with her appearance. She shaved the important bits, gave herself a facial and had even done her nails. Her hair had been trimmed earlier in the week. It was still long but it looked shiny and sleek, possibly because she was eating healthy again. It was another positive step forward.

Within herself, she felt lighter and younger than she had in years. She was only twenty-five, nearly twenty-six for Christ's sake. Going out to clubs was what people her age were supposed to be doing on a Friday night.

Lauren and Jessica texted Bella when the cab was downstairs at her apartment block. She ran into the street and slid into the backseat, next to Lauren, greeting both girls breathlessly. Even in the darkness she could tell that they were dressed for serious business. The fabric in their skirts was almost as absent as the lack of covering across their breasts. They were setting bait for big game.

While Bella didn't consider her own attire to fall into the 'quite so slutty' category, she knew that she looked good. She had made an effort with her hair and make-up and her silver dress was figure hugging and flattering.

"Oh my God," gushed Jessica. "Bella, you look gorgeous. You should wear make-up, more often."

"I do, actually," laughed Bella easily. "Just not quite so much."

The girls fell into an easy conversation, comparing actors and musicians they found attractive, discussing bands they had seen live and bemoaning the state of their love lives.

Bella listened more than contributed. Although the girls were only a few years younger in age, Bella felt every one of her extra years. Neither of the younger women had been in a long-term relationship or lived with someone before. They were happy to play the field, moving from casual encounters to one-night stands. Bella enjoyed their easy-going nature but as the evening wore on, she found that she had less in common with Jessica and Lauren than she had first thought.

They had been hanging out in the dark-lit subterranean nightclub for a couple of hours. Bella had danced a few times and felt relaxed. "My shout," she cried over the pounding of the dance beat. "What are you guys drinking again?"

"Mojitos!" They cried in unison, giggling and bouncing in their seats, their hands waving above their heads in time to the music.

As Bella stood patiently at the bar waiting to be served, she glanced back toward their table and saw two young guys, chatting to Lauren and Jessica. Only a few words were exchanged before the boys were grabbing the girl's hands and dragging them onto the dance floor. Moments later, the four of them were grinding suggestively all over each other as one dance track melded into the next, the doof-doof of the beat beginning to sound monotonous to Bella's ears.

It was okay. It was good to be out. She managed to carry the three drinks without mishap – a major Bella achievement - back to their table and sat down, sipping her beer slowly and observing people discreetly.

She leaned to one side to joke to Edward about a group of very young, very hopeful, very clueless-looking guys she had spotted, hanging near the bar and leering suggestively at every girl on the dance floor. She was about to impersonate one of them but when she turned her head, of course Edward wasn't there.

It was their _thing, _something they did. Pick out people in public places and then make up ridiculous or lewd conversations they imagined they might be having. It was a little bit mean but it always made Bella giggle uproariously and she knew Edward loved to hear her giggle.

She didn't know why she had imagined that Edward was sitting beside her, just then.

Lauren and Jessica were still on the dance floor when Bella had finished her beer. She eyed the mojitos speculatively and decided against it. No need for a repeat performance of that night, months ago.

"They're still at it, huh?" rumbled a smooth voice and Bella turned her head in the direction of the sound. She was met with a pair of deep brown eyes gazing at her from behind chunky black and silver framed spectacles. He gave her a lopsided grin and inclined his head back toward the dance floor. "I saw you come in with them but they appear to have deserted you, for the moment." Bella smiled politely and nodded.

"Mind if I join you?" Bella lifted her eyebrows. "I _swear_ I'm not trying to pick you up." He chucked, eyes crinkling and he held his hands up, palms out. "Just looking for some conversation and company."

Bella regarded him for a moment. He was dressed casually but well. He wasn't overly tall but still would have towered over her by several inches. He appeared to have a slight but muscular build and his wavy, brown hair flopped casually across his forehead. He stood silently, pushing his glasses up his nose and waited patiently for her response. His eyes were kind and quite frankly, the glasses were hot. His teeth were white and straight, and as he smiled, they nipped at one corner of his bottom lip.

His apparent nervousness was disarming and Bella felt her protective shield slip, just a little.

She stretched out her hand. "Hey, name's Bella. Pleased to me you-"

He returned her handshake and his grip was warm and dry. "Garrett." His teeth released his lip as he spoke.

"Well, I guess I'd better invite you to sit down, Garrett." Bella gave him a genuine smile.

When Lauren and Jessica returned from the dance floor, more than an hour later, they wrinkled their noses at the forgotten drinks, the mojitos now warm and uninviting. The girls were firmly coiled around their dance partners, Alec and Felix, whom they introduced to Bella and Garrett. Lauren and Jessica nodded approvingly, and with no subtlety at all, at Bella's choice of companion.

"Let's go onto Zone when this place closes," Jessica suggested, still bouncing. Alec seemed to appreciate how it made her breasts jiggle, his eyes firmly glued to her chest. "It's open until six tomorrow," she enthused.

Alec rested his hands on Jessica's hips, turning her to face him. "I'll follow you anywhere, gorgeous." Jessica giggled flirtatiously, gazing at him from beneath her lashes and Bella swallowed a little bit of vomit.

"You guys go on, I'll head home after this," said Bella. "It's been a great night, though."

As she thought about it, she realised her words were true. It had been a great night, in spite of finding out that she probably wouldn't form lifelong friendships with Lauren and Jessica. She had put herself out there and met someone whose company she enjoyed, at least for an evening. And there was potential for something…_more_. It didn't have to mean everything or even anything but it was a positive step forward.

His full name was Garrett Santiago and he and Bella had managed to carry on a sort-of conversation by leaning low to speak into each other's ears and using lots of hand gestures.

He was an optometrist, married at twenty-three. _"Who does that?"_ Bella had thought when he told her, but considered it wasn't her place to judge. He was thirty now, had been divorced for four years. He was…fun. He laughed easily at her jokes and even managed to make some of his own and she found he had a quick wit. They shared some interests in films and music.

Garrett had been disarmingly honest about his own life, explaining that he had found it was best to get all the baggage out of the way up front. Bella had done the same and was surprised that she could talk about her failed relationship with Jacob, without rancor or bitterness. It was a relief.

Bella and Garrett were still talking when last drinks were being called from the bar. "Can I walk you to your car?" he asked.

"No, I came in a cab."

"Well then, let me make sure that I find one for you."

"Thank you, that would be lovely." Bella grinned, gratefully.

People had been steadily emptying from the club for the last half hour. Those who needed to make a strategic getaway because they knew the subdued lighting played to their advantage and wished to maintain the illusion. Suddenly, fluorescent lights flickered twice before flooding the club with harsh, unforgiving whiteness.

Bella blinked and squinted, taking time to allow her eyes to adjust to the brightness. Garrett too, removed his glasses and used his thumb and forefinger to rub the skin at the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes briefly. He took his time as though he was working up to something, making a decision.

When he replaced his glasses he turned to look at her, square on. Bella studied his face closely for the first time and noticed his impossibly black eyelashes and smooth skin, the colour of rich caramel. "Listen Bella, I've really enjoyed talking to you tonight. Would you mind if I called you sometime? Maybe take you to a movie or out for dinner?"

They both lived close by, in the Eastern suburbs. He owned his own business, he was educated, fun to talk to and exceedingly polite. He was disarmingly attractive, even in the bright fluorescent light.

"Of course," Bella said. They exchanged phones and put each other's details into them.

Garrett walked Bella outside and down the road into Oxford Street until he was able to flag a taxi for her. He held her gently by the elbow as he opened the rear taxi door and guided her into the backseat, biding her goodnight with a soft kiss to her cheek. "I'll be in touch," he murmured. "Sooner than later," he smiled, keeping his face close to hers for a moment before turning away with a short wave.

Bella knew that meeting Garrett should have made her happy, excited even. She no longer had feelings for Jacob. She was ready to move on from their disastrous relationship. She wasn't offering to sleep with Garrett. Hell, she hadn't even kissed him properly yet. But agreeing to see him again was a step in the right direction. Right?

She was annoyed with herself for missing Edward's company so badly tonight. She had come to rely on him far too much. It wasn't fair to him and she knew she shouldn't take advantage of his kindness and good nature. He had found some wonderful girl, probably from his work, whom he wanted to commit to. She needed to start giving him some space so that he could work on that. Edward was her friend. He had always been her friend.

She rested her head on the backseat of the taxi and allowed her mind to wander. She wondered what would have happened that night, years ago, if Edward had been the one to win the darts game and she had gone out with him, instead of Jacob.

Would they have dated for a few months? Probably. And then she would have gone the way of countless girls over the years - he would have broken up with her and she would never have had Edward as her friend. Possibly her best friend.

Nothing was worth jeopardizing having him in her life forever. When Bella considered the things in her life she couldn't bear to live without, she knew that her friendship with Edward was the most precious thing.

Bella acknowledged that it was stupid of her to feel like she was betraying Edward by agreeing to go out with Garrett. They didn't have that sort of relationship and they never would.

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**A/N: Thank you for reading...your thoughts are cherished.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns. Give me independent over multiplex, anyday. Also, Ariel Bookstore? Go there.**

**A/N: Thank you, Rinabina for being pretty and clever, having a GIF for every occasion...and always having my back.**

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** Best Throw – Chapter 8**

When Bella turned down his offer for a night out at the movies, Edward's playful mood took a distinct nosedive.

Lately, they had been spending all their spare time together. He knew that she thought she was taking advantage of him, that was her nature. He groaned thinking how wrong she was.

_He_ wanted to be the one spending time with Bella. All her time. The thought of her, out with other single girls on a Friday night, filled him with foreboding.

Absentmindedly, he doodled the letter 'B' over and over on the notepad beside his work phone, then scribbled angry lines over the top when he realised what he was doing. He gave himself an internal slap for acting like a fourteen year old girl.

He had to accept that he was powerless in this situation. He hadn't declared himself. He knew in his heart of hearts that it wasn't the right time. All he could do was hope for the best and pray that there wasn't some perfect prick, waiting in the wings and poised to steal his girl away from him.

She wasn't ready for a new relationship with _anyone_. Not yet. He had to have faith in that.

_Shit, _he thought to himself. His palms began to sweat and he rubbed them up and down along his suit pants in agitation.

The spreadsheet in front of him was really starting to piss him off, the numbers jumbled and danced on the page, making no sense. He knew he had to do _something _or he would explode in frustration. One thing was certain, he didn't want to be alone tonight. So, he picked up the phone and dialed the one woman he knew would never let him down.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Elastic-pants, himself," she chuckled sarcastically.

"Rosie, I need you," he choked out. His desolate mood was entirely evident by his tone.

"Tell me, I'm there," she soothed instantly, all trace of humour gone. Edward exhaled a relieved breath.

.

.

.

Ariel in Paddington was, in Edward's opinion, the best bookstore in Sydney. It was an independent store, with staff genuinely knowledgeable and passionate about the books they sold. The selection was an eclectic combination of quality and quirkiness. Edward loved to read the staff recommendations, particularly when they were really enthused about a novel or biography.

It was housed on a single level in an old building from the 1920s and was light, airy and wide. Tables made from pine and oak were sprinkled among the groupings of low shelving and they housed various book displays. Retro and original prints of films, books and animation hung on the walls. The old floorboards were painted a yellow cream and they whispered their own stories and secrets as you moved over them. It was bliss for Edward to simply stroll the aisles, listen to the silence broken by the rhythmic tap of his footsteps, and browse.

Ariel was a favourite haunt for Edward and Bella and, left unchecked, they could roam the bookstore together for hours. Today, however, he had Rose as his companion and she had a decidedly shorter attention span.

Edward had finished glancing through the new releases, and was thumbing through a coffee table book on photography by Ansel Adams, when Rose bumped him with her shoulder. "I want to get a good seat, we going soon?" He smirked knowingly and nodded.

They strolled arm in arm across Oxford Street and into the art house venue, the Palace Cinema. Once inside, they walked upstairs to the small combined bar and box office. This was where he felt comfortable. It was small, intimate and relaxed. Edward hated seeing movies at the multiplex at Bondi Junction unless there was no other option.

"Quick beer before we go in?" Rose feigned innocence and blinked coquettishly at Edward.

He tipped his head back and laughed. "Oh, I see. Get a good seat, my arse. Far be it from me to deprive you from your ulterior motive. Lush." He chuckled under his breath and went to purchase two beers while Rose claimed a small table for them, tucked away in a corner.

Emmett was away on a weekend conference for work, so Rose had gladly accepted Bella's ticket to see _The Artist_ with Edward. She had recognised the desperation in his voice on the phone and knew instantly that he needed her support. At any rate, she had been looking for a chance to catch up with him without Bella around.

Once they were seated, Rose nudged Edward with her knee. "So, Father Ed, how's celibate life treating you?" Edward huffed through his nose and rolled his eyes.

"No, really," she persisted.

Edward smiled sarcastically and held up his right hand, palm out. "Say hello to my little friend."

"Ew, over share." She mock gagged. "We are so getting separate popcorn."

"You asked."

They chuckled together and fell into a few moments of comfortable silence. When Rose looked at Edward again her eyes had softened. "Seriously though, you've gone from the sublime to the ridiculous. How long has it been for you?"

Edward twisted his lips to one side as he considered his answer. "It has to be well over a year now."

"I'm impressed Edward, truly." Rose put her elbows on the table and leaned forward. "But you've _always_ been with someone. I know that Alice and I suggested this for you but it's such a complete turn around. Isn't it driving you insane?"

Edward pursed his lips and exhaled slowly. "Don't get me wrong Rose, I love women and I love having a sex life but…in some ways…having made up my mind to wait for Bella…it's something of a relief."

"How so?"

"I know that you and Ali and Bella have always teased me for dating so many women but honestly, in the start, with every girl, I always hoped it would be more." His index finger began tracing patterns in a puddle of condensation on the bar table and he kept his eyes downcast.

"I liked them all in the beginning, was attracted to them, whatever." He sighed and pulled a face, lifting his hand to pick at his beer label with a fingernail. "But with every single one, there was a moment, a moment when I closed my eyes and started seeing Bella's face, and I knew I had to end it. I tried so hard to see them, not _her_, but I couldn't seem to stop."

Edward lifted his beer bottle and took a long draught before returning it gently to the table. As he continued, his tone was thoughtful. "I didn't want to use those girls Rose, and when I realised that each one could never mean more to me than Bella, I knew it wasn't being fair on either one of us to continue."

Rose kicked his foot gently under the table and wrinkled her nose at him to lighten his mood. He grinned. "Sorry, it's just…it's been a lot easier to give it all up than I thought it would be."

"What if she doesn't choose you?"

Edward's brows drew together, his expression grim, as he considered the question. "Still worth it."

"And she's out, clubbing tonight, without you – you're okay with that?" Rose waved her hand in the air for emphasis.

"No, not at all." He shook his head, sadly. "But I'm no stalker."

"Why don't you just tell her how you feel, Edward?"

"I don't know, really. She's not ready, not yet. She's just coming to terms with who she is now that Jacob's not around, telling her what to do. She's becoming herself again, regaining her self esteem." He fidgeted in his seat. "And…it's not enough that she's the love of _my_ life; she needs to be in love with me too.

"I don't want her to try a relationship with me out of some misplaced loyalty as a friend. I want her to fall in love with me. It has to happen naturally and I believe it will, if I'm just…patient and have faith."

Edward ran a finger along his bottom lip in quiet contemplation for a moment and then smiled hopefully at Rose. "You should see us together, Rose. We just…fit. She's going to realise it. She has to. It's killing me not to reach out and kiss her, touch her. I mean - I do but just as a friend. I want more. I want it so badly."

"You think she's not ready to hear it yet?"

He licked his lips together and grimaced. "Nope. Not yet. But Christ, I hope it's soon." Edward cracked his knuckles by placing his palm over one fist and then swapping to the other. "There is one thing I'm planning on doing though."

"What's that?"

For years, Edward had shared a sleek, modern apartment overlooking Bondi Beach with Randall, a work colleague.

Six months ago, Edward's grandmother had passed away, leaving him a small inheritance. It wasn't a fortune but was enough to secure a generous deposit on an apartment, one all his own. He had bought one a few streets away from Bella and Jacob, near Coogee Beach. It was the opposite of his old place in style, art deco with large, airy rooms, stuccoed walls, picture rails and arched windows with beveled glass. Bella adored it and had been helping Edward furnish the place with eclectic pieces of furniture, some modern, some antique, some from junk shops.

"Bella's struggling to make ends meet at her place, now that Jacob is gone."

Rose's eyes widened. "And…"

"I'm going to ask if she wants to move in with me, as a flatmate."

When Jacob had moved out, he had done the right thing by Bella, financially at least. He paid up all the utilities for several months. Now though, the bills were rolling in and there was no way Bella could manage to keep the apartment alone.

She had advertised online for a new flatmate but the results had been disappointing. There were a lot of strange and frankly, scary people out there, looking for accommodation.

Bella had also looked at renting on her own. She could only afford a one-bedroom apartment and there were few available on the market. Those that she had seen were dismal and depressing. Rose shuddered as she remembered a photo Bella had texted to her of one such place; there had been broken and curling linoleum on the kitchen floor, a huge crack in the living room wall and several enormous dead cockroaches behind the dirty bedroom door.

Rose whistled a breath sharply through her teeth, her voice raising an octave. "Um, hello? Edward, that's a _terrible_ idea. Just a second ago you were talking about not rushing her."

"I'm not Rose," said Edward emphatically, trying to convince himself at the same time. "It's not like you or Ali can ask her to move in. You and Emmett don't have the room and Ali and Jasper are probably going to set up house together soon. Bella needs help and I have the space."

"How the actual fuck does this fit in with the whole _go slow_ campaign, Edward?"

"It's just helping her out," he said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"And are you sure that you're not hoping that if she moves in with you…eventually she will _move in with you?"_

Edward shrugged, sullenly. "If I'm honest, maybe." Then he sunk both hands into his hair and pulled at it in frustration. "I just really want to help her. Plus she needs to put the final nail in that relationship – she needs to move out."

Rose sat for a long moment, studying Edward's face as his eyes darted around the bar, repeatedly shrinking from her gaze. She slowly tapped a darkly lacquered nail on the table as Edward tried to convince himself that he was a grown man and didn't need or want her approval. He would have convinced himself too, except for one fact. Rose had the ability to scare him shitless. She was possibly the most fierce woman he had ever met. Just when he thought his face would melt from her intensity she spoke again.

"I dunno Edward. This sounds like all kinds of dangerous to me." They sat together quietly again. After a minute, she spoke, sharply, "How would you handle it if she met someone and brought him home?"

Edward held up a hand between them, his eyes widening in panic. "Don't, please. Don't go there."

Rose sucked down the last of her beer and narrowed her eyes at him. "It's a definite possibility, particularly if you're not ready to tell her how you feel. You know, you're on page 300 and she hasn't even opened the book."

"I know, I know." He nodded, grimly "I acknowledge it's a possibility, alright? I just hope it doesn't come to that."

Rose frowned deeply. "Well, I can't believe you're willing to go there and I think it's a mistake." She reached across the table to slap Edward's thumb away from his mouth where he had begun nervously chewing a hangnail. He grimaced at her and sat on his hands.

Rose sighed in resignation. "But I can't tell you what to do. I know your heart's in the right place. Just make sure you are going into this with your eyes open, know your heart could get trampled on from this too."

"Noted boss." Edward gave her a helpless shrug.

"Trampled. Dead."

"I've got it."

Rose tapped her fingers on the table once more and looked around the bar. "Okay Cullen, let's get our popcorn and our seats." She narrowed her eyes. "Are you kidding me that there's _no talking_ at all in this movie?" Edward chuckled and shook his head back and forth.

"Emmett will die when he hears I've gone to see this." She gave him a reassuring kiss on the cheek and smiled as she watched him blush. "Only for you Edward, my love, only for you."

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**A/N: Thank you for reading...your thoughts are cherished.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns. I want to go mattress testing with Edward.**

**A/N: Thank you, Rinabina for beta-ing this chapter. Congratulations, my friend for your wonderful RL news and accomplishment this week *clinks glass*.**

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**Best Throw – Chapter 9**

"You are a saint," gushed Bella, grabbing her coffee with one hand. Her other hand reached around Edward's neck and pulled him down so she could place a welcoming kiss to his cheek.

Edward's arm snaked around her waist and he shut his eyes to breathe in the frangipani smell of her shampoo, committing to memory the feel of her lips pressed to his skin. He hoped she didn't notice that he held her close a few seconds longer than really necessary.

"Get me out of this place, it depresses me," she continued, grabbing his hand and leading him out of her apartment. "I interviewed another potential flat mate early this morning…holy crap. Do I have something tattooed on my head that says, _if you're a borderline psychopath, come offer to live with me_?"

He pulled her around to stand in front of him and assumed a serious expression. "Hang on a sec, let me check." He ran a finger slowly across her brow and narrowed his eyes. "There might be something there," he began, like a smartarse. They were touchy-feely friends anyway, but he took any excuse he could to lay his hands on her. She slapped his hand away, good-naturedly. They chuckled together and ran down to his car.

"You know, Edward, I don't understand why you replaced your bed. The one you used to have was gorgeous and only a few years old," said Bella, strapping on her seatbelt. It really had been beautiful. It was a classic shaker style that had been handcrafted from cherry wood.

Since buying the apartment, Edward had been determined to purchase a new bed frame and mattress. The new acquisition was an antique. It was black and decorative and made from wrought iron. He knew that Bella loved it. He had purchased it knowing that if she had the money, it was exactly what she would have bought for herself.

Edward fiddled with the automatic button on his rearview mirror for a moment and pursed his lips. "Do you really want to know?"

"Is it some big secret?"

Edward blew out a breath that lifted his hair from his forehead. Even if he couldn't explain himself completely, he wanted her to know his reasoning was significant. "Well, actually, it's for her."

Bella's voice was hushed. "Oh. The girl you're waiting for?"

Edward turned on the ignition, pushed down on his indicator and twisted to look at Bella before turning into the traffic. His voice radiated sincerity. "If it works out with her…I want her to know she's the _only_ one who has ever been in this bed. I want her to be the only one in my bed. Ever again."

"Uh huh," said Bella quietly. "Wow." Edward wondered at the flush that was staining her cheeks. "Well, let's get going then," she said. She stared wistfully out her window and chewed on the inside of her cheek.

By the time they reached the bedding warehouse, Bella's mood was bright and carefree; it was always that way when they were together. They tried out mattress after mattress, testing for firmness and comfort. They also wriggled around suggestively to determine the potential for disturbing the sleep patterns of one's partner and testing bounce factor for...other things. They were both in a playful frame of mind and laughed frequently.

Edward was proud of himself. Other than for asking if she'd had a good time, he hadn't pressed Bella for details of her night out the previous evening. It was killing him, though. He wanted details. He both wanted and dreaded details.

There were only a few more mattresses to test when Bella sank down onto the next. "Oh, Jesus," she groaned. Edward lay down beside her and his response was equally low and husky. "Christ, yes."

"This is the one," she moaned, circling her palms across the thickly padded surface. Edward let out an audible sigh. "I think you could be right, little duck." He too, spread his fingers wide over the cotton and satin mattress cover, inadvertently brushing them against Bella's and setting off a static spark. "Ow," they laughed together and Edward rubbed his thumb over the tips of his fingers. They both closed their eyes, laying on their backs for a few moments and luxuriating in the comfort.

After a beat, Edward turned his head so that his cheek rested on the mattress and he allowed himself to drink in the sight of Bella.

Her eyes were still closed and her thick eyelashes curled gently upwards. Her face in profile was serene. She was breathing in and out through her mouth and her lips were slightly parted. He noticed that her cheeks were still flushed from their earlier giggling. Whenever her cheeks stained red, it was the only time you could tell she had a few faint freckles.

She was so damned beautiful that he couldn't look away. Not even when she opened her own eyes and turned her head slowly. She showed no apparent surprise in meeting his lazy gaze and instead returned his stare with an unflinching, steady force. Vaguely, he noticed the way her shoulders rose and fell with her breaths but his eyes were locked on hers. They were so large and dark in her pale face. There were flecks of the darkest black-brown amongst the chocolate swirls of her sparkling irises.

It was a moment.

The air around them became charged and Edward felt himself pulled toward her. He adjusted his hips infinitesimally to inch closer and unconsciously licked his lips. Bella's breathing quickened along with his and her pupils dilated, darkening her brown irises further. Edward could feel the puff of Bella's breaths wash over his mouth, causing his lips to dry and making him lick them once more. Their expressions were locked, unwavering on each other.

"I met someone, last night," she blurted out suddenly.

"Do you want to move in with me?" he gasped at the same time.

"Wait, what?" they said in unison and laughed spontaneously, the moment broken.

Edward had been waiting for and dreading this moment all day. He knew the jealousy that spiked in his gut was unjustified so he pulled himself together.

She needed to confide in him.

"Tell me," he urged and reached to tuck her hair behind her ear. It was a friendly gesture, intended to offer her comfort and reassurance but a heavy stone had settled in his stomach. He imagined a small and ugly troll-like creature, locked inside his chest and laughing with evil intent as its bony claw steadily shredded any hope in his heart.

Bella told Edward about meeting Garrett, how genuine and honest he had appeared to be, how he had behaved like a gentleman and wanted to see her again. She explained how Garrett had texted her this morning to let her know how much he had enjoyed meeting and talking to her last night.

"So, will you?" he asked.

"Will I what?" Bella asked, distractedly. They were still lying on the bed, facing each other, with Edward's hand nestled in her hair.

"Will you see him again?"

"I guess, it's just…" Inexplicably Bella's eyes filled with tears.

"Come on," said Edward quickly, reaching for her hand and pulling her off the bed.

The sales assistant was standing a few feet away, awkwardly trying not to look at them. "I'll take this one," said Edward firmly, indicating the chosen mattress with a toss of his head and handing over his credit card. He leaned down to speak softly in Bella's ear. "Let's sort this out quickly and get some lunch."

Twenty minutes later, they were settled at a café. Edward ordered the Caesar salad with smoked salmon and Bella the Thai beef salad. She took a sip of her mineral water and leaned back in her chair.

It took every ounce of Edward's strength of character to continue this conversation but he had his _friend_ hat on right now. "What's the problem, Bella?"

"I-" She shook her head, staring down at the tabletop. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do," he insisted.

"It's just," she began and paused. "It's just, you know, he _seems_ nice and all but…what if there's something, I dunno, _lacking_ in me? What if that's the reason that things went pear-shaped with Jacob?" Her shoulders slumped and she sat, radiating dejection. "Should I even bother?"

Edward's fists clenched together in anger. If Jacob had been nearby he would have slugged him so hard for depleting Bella's self-confidence this way. "Listen, sweetheart." She nodded, refusing to make eye contact.

"No. _Listen_ to me. Look at _me_, Bella." He put a finger under her chin and she lifted her sad eyes to his determined expression. "Jacob was a dick, a complete bloody fool. There's _nothing_ wrong with you. You're wonderful. Any guy. Any. Fucking. Guy. Would be so proud to call you his girl." He huffed once through his nose. "We clear?"

Bella smiled at his emphatic words, her eyes full of gratitude. "Thanks, Edward." The waitress arrived with their lunch and Bella picked up her fork, pausing for a moment. "So, you think I should give him a try?"

"Jesus, Bella," he said, his hand twisting and bothering his hair. "I don't know the first thing about him. All I do know is that I hate that Jacob has made you doubt yourself. If you need to go out for coffee with this guy to build up your confidence, then do it. Just promise me something?"

"Sure, what?"

"Take things slow? Be sure _he's_ worth it, okay?"

"You bet," she smiled slowly, appearing somewhat appeased. She picked up her fork and stabbed at a cherry tomato, chewing thoughtfully before remembering. "Hey, what was that you said before?"

"Oh yeah," he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well, I just thought it made sense, you know? I have an extra room at my place…and you're struggling to find somewhere or someone to move in with you. You know, I have an en suite to my bedroom, so you could have the main bathroom to yourself." He shrugged. "Think about it."

They continued to eat in silence for a while before Bella spoke again. "Wouldn't I be in the way? You know, with your plans for this girl and everything?"

Edward's eyes burned. "No." he muttered defensively, his voice low. "That's a long term plan, anyway."

He closed his eyes and cleared his throat in an attempt to make his tone light-hearted. "Anyway, it doesn't have to be forever, just until you get back on your feet. Whatever works for you, whatever you want." He smiled, trying to hide the tightness behind his eyes.

Bella hated that Edward was hiding things from her and huffed in frustration. She didn't care if she was prying, they didn't usually have secrets from each other. "Why won't you tell me anything about her? You must work with her, right?"

"Bella, please." He dropped his eyes to the side and away from her.

"There is _someone_ though, isn't there?"

"Why would you say that?" he snapped, looking up sharply.

"I don't know, all this mystery and secrecy. This isn't like you. You usually tell me everything. You haven't made her up because there's something you're avoiding telling us, have you?" Edward's face paled and he frowned deeply.

Bella drew a deep breath and continued before her brain could filter, "I mean, you've been with a lot of girls and all…one of them hasn't made you…sick or something, has she?"

"Jesus, Bella!" Edward's right hand flew to his head again.

"Or turned you off women altogether?" she rushed out before she could stop herself.

"You honestly think I'm _gay_?" Edward cried, deeply mortified.

"I wouldn't care. I love you. I just don't want you to feel you have to hide things from me," she said desperately, radiating sincerity at the same time.

Edward contemplated for a moment that his attempt to prove his worth to Bella could not have backfired any bigger than this. Perhaps it was time to cut the pretence and tell her how he felt, right now. Show her in no uncertain terms that he most definitely was _not_ gay.

But something held him back. Partly it was cowardice and fear of rejection but he also truly didn't think she was ready to hear him declare his true feelings. Not yet. His heartbeats quickened with his panic of what to do, what to say. She was right, he confided in her more than anyone else and he _was_ being deceptive. But she wasn't ready, was she?

_Shit_.

"Bella," Edward's voice was husky and he reached to hold her hand over the table. "I'm not sick and I most certainly am _not_ gay. There is someone I care about. I'm trying to make myself a better man and I'm prepared to wait until she sees that I want to do this for her and that I'm worth the risk. You, living in my apartment will not jeopardise things for me in any way…and it will make life easier for you. It can be short-term, long-term, whatever you need."

She grinned apologetically, reached forward and placed her small hand over the back of his. "Sorry for the gay call."

"Seriously, Bella." Edward's eyes were round and incredulous.

"Edward, I'd love to. When can I move in?"

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**A/N: Thanks so much for reading. I'd love to know what you think.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns. I hope to own a ticket to see a third screening of Cosmopolis.**

**A/N: Thank you, Rinabina for finding the time to beta this chapter. I appreciate it more than you know :))**

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**Best Throw – Chapter 10**

Scent.

Aroma.

To Bella, an attractive scent was evocative, heady stuff with the potential to send her into a euphoric tailspin. A great meal being slow cooked or the fragrance of a lavender bush – the fragrances were so completely different but when Bella came across something that attracted her senses, it stirred something deep inside.

Still, she was hard pressed to think of anything that smelled better to her than Edward Cullen.

Now she lived with him.

Bella had always found sniffing Edward to be a completely delicious experience. He was fastidious about personal hygiene and the combination of his own good clean smell, whatever deodorant he used and the hint of fragrance from his washing detergent was a divine hit to her senses.

Since moving in, Bella found her own clothing and linen all carried that same flutter of incredible freshness. Sometimes she would catch a whiff of herself on her shirt or scarf as she reached for a shelf in the office or pulled on a jacket. It was like carrying a little bit of Edward around with her every day.

Absentminded thoughts of inhaling the scent of their now shared laundry detergent were momentarily forgotten, as Bella flattened a pillow over her face to suppress her laughter. It was early morning and her feet were thrashing up and down under her bed covers.

Edward was singing in the shower, loudly and with complete and careless abandon. Either he wasn't aware how well the acoustics travelled from his en suite to Bella's bedroom or he had forgotten that he no longer lived alone.

_I told you to be patient_

_I told you to be fine_

_I told you to be balanced_

_I told you to be kind_

_In the morning I'll be with you_

_But it will be a different "kind"_

_I'll be holding all the tickets _

_And you'll be owning all the fines_

In his own way, his voice was every bit as lovely as Justin Vernon's. What was making Bella laugh was the way he was throwing himself into the lyrics - emotionally and without a shred of guile. It was spontaneous, raw and completely precious. Before he could continue to the next verse, his melodic warbling was cut off by a sudden, piercing shriek. This was followed by the sound of several high-pitched expletives and the clattering noise of items that appeared to be tumbling onto the tiled floor. Then, silence.

Bella lay still for a few moments and after hearing nothing more, scrambled out of bed and rushed into the living room. Edward was already there, one hand holding a towel wrapped loosely around his hips. His darkened, wet hair was slicked back from his forehead and rivulets of water were dripping slowly down his chest until they were absorbed into the towel. He kept repeating himself while hopping from foot to foot. "Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuckidy-fuck." His other hand appeared to be thumbing through contacts on his mobile phone.

He was obviously cold because his nipples were hard.

"You okay?" asked Bella, biting her lip to prevent herself from both laughing and potentially drooling. He was quite the sight.

"Oh," said Edward, his wide eyes blinked at her quickly before looking down at his phone. "Shit. Sorry, Bella." He was still hopping awkwardly from one foot to the other and he shrugged apologetically. "Got a shock, cold water came on, real quick. Knocked the shampoo and body wash bottles onto my foot." Bella sucked in her cheeks and bit down to stifle a laugh. Edward looked as though he was searching rapidly through the contacts on his phone. He spoke distractedly, "I'm looking for the number of my plumber. Hot water system's completely out, sorry."

"S'okay. I showered last night."

"Oh, good," he said and then slowly lifted his head to acknowledge her properly. He stopped hopping, his long, left foot hitting the dark, wooden floorboards with a resounding thwack. Edward's thumb stopped swiping at the screen of his phone and he stared dumbly, his mouth hanging open slightly. Bella felt her chest and cheeks stain red as he stared. Realising her embarrassment at his open gape, he snapped his mouth shut and dropped his eyes downward. His own cheeks darkened, mirroring her flush.

Bella had rushed out of bed without considering her attire or appearance. She had a serious case of bed hair and was wearing a thin tank top and particularly short sleep shorts. It was quite cool in the living room and she blushed deeper when she looked down and saw the state of _her_ chest. Bella and Edward had both seen each other plenty of times in less clothing at the beach, but for some reason, in the confines of the apartment, this seemed decidedly more…intimate.

Bella coughed awkwardly and attempted to alleviate their mutual self-consciousness. "I can work from home today, if you need me to stay and let the plumber in?"

Edward nodded gratefully without lifting his head. His wet hair had flopped onto his forehead and into his eyes. He placed his phone between his teeth and raked his free hand through it, slicking it backwards once more. "If I can get him, that would be great," he spoke awkwardly around the phone in his mouth. He placed it back to his ear and held up one finger to indicate his call was being answered. "Hello, Peter Brown Plumbing? Yes, I need someone…"

His voice trailed off as he turned and walked toward his bedroom. Bella watched the muscles in his strong back as he retreated down the hallway, temporarily mesmerized by the slight peek of rather firm and smooth white buttock that was visible between the gap where he held the towel together.

Bella had been living in Edward's apartment for several weeks now.

Alice, who had quite the flair for photography and sales pitch, had helped her sell her furniture from the old apartment on Ebay. They got rid of everything that either reminded her of Jacob or that wouldn't fit into Edward's place. No more daily reminders. It made Bella feel cleansed.

She adored Edward's apartment.

She remembered falling in love with the apartment block when Edward had gone to the first viewing more than six months prior, when it had first come on the market.

She thought back on that day fondly. The two of them were instantly charmed when they walked through the curved art deco walls of the vestibule, their footsteps echoing on the tessellated tiles. The leadlight windows had cast colourful shards of light across Edward's face and Bella had gushed, completely enamoured with the beauty of the building, "Oh my God, Edward."

The apartment was several streets back and a few streets across from the bustle of bars, nighttime venues and restaurants of Coogee Beach. Still, it was only a ten-minute walk to reach the promenade that ran south of the beach and continued to the impressive coast walk that ended almost 6 km later at Bondi Beach.

Edward's apartment was on the second floor and because the block was high on a hill, the view from the large, curved, east-facing window of his front sunroom, skirted over the rooftops of other apartment blocks and gave him a hint of the sea where it met the sky. It was expansive and peaceful and Bella sighed deeply every time she paused to gaze at the view.

There were two sunrooms in the 1930s apartment, one to the east and the other to the north of the living areas. The apartments in the block had been sympathetically modified some years prior and the living space had two original, non-load bearing walls removed, allowing for the kitchen and dining alcoves to feel more open-plan. Bella loved the way she had helped Edward furnish the place. They had found a large, chunky oak dining table and sideboard with ornate carvings in the doors. It was not quite antique but from the late arts and crafts era and they both fitted in wonderfully.

Other pieces were more modern, the most noticeable being Edward's deep olive green sofa with chaise lounge at one end. It allowed Bella and Edward to stretch out and lie perpendicular, in blissful comfort, while watching TV or catching up after work. The orientation also meant that Bella's eternally cold feet dangled in front of Edward's hands, allowing him to massage and warm them up at the end of a long working day.

As roomies, they were still in their honeymoon phase. This meant that they were more polite and considerate with each other than they normally would be. There was much less teasing. They were getting used to each other's habits, morning sounds and daily rituals and testing their respective culinary skills in the kitchen.

Bella thought that she had known Edward well, before moving in, but she was discovering new things about him all the time.

For example, the way he wiped down the benches and splash backs in the kitchen each evening, when they cleaned up after dinner. He used such energy and manic precision, which was further proof of his obsessive-compulsive tendencies. She grinned thinking about it.

Another habit she learned about was his whistling of soundtrack scores from Star Wars and Lord of the Rings while shaving. It was completely adorable, although she would never tell him how much she loved it - loved him.

If Bella left a cardigan, scarf or wrap draped over the sofa or a dining chair in the evening, she always found it folded neatly on the chair outside her bedroom door the following morning. She knew that her minor infringements at untidiness drove him crazy, so sometimes she did it just to mess with his head.

For a while, Jacob continued to text and email, pleading with Bella to give him one more chance. She ignored his messages. He was too chicken shit to phone much anymore, not since Edward gave him a complete bollocking when he picked up her cell one night. Bella smiled at the memory but frowned at the thought that Edward was walking away from a relationship with his childhood friend. Jacob had been his oldest and formerly closest friend.

Then Jacob found out that Bella had moved into Edward's apartment and had completely lost his cool. He came around one night, drunk and pounding on the door. He called them both some pretty awful names and accused them of sleeping together. He accused Edward of cutting his grass; of spending years attempting to move in on his relationship with Bella, of undermining him to make her pull away from him.

That night, Bella finally stood up to Jacob. It wasn't pretty. There was screaming and swearing and a number of hurtful things were said on both sides, things that could never be taken back. At the end of it, both Bella and Edward's relationships with Jacob were irrevocably broken down.

"I feel awful. Thanks to me, your friendship's been destroyed forever," Bella confided, riddled with guilt.

"Trust me, Bella, you're not the reason. His behaviour is the cause of our falling out and the choices he's made. Jacob and I were already growing apart." He sighed heavily and shrugged. "We've just grown into very different people. It happens." His eyes had burned with intensity as he looked at her. "Don't feel bad because I certainly don't. Anyway, the best thing that friendship ever brought me was you." He paused at Bella's sharp intake of breath. "I-I mean, meeting you, Rose and Alice, the friendship that we all have, now." He smiled sheepishly.

As Bella dressed for the day, she frowned when she caught herself thinking back over these incidents. Her thoughts regarding Edward were becoming so confusing. As happy as she was living in his apartment, she wasn't completely sure it was a smart idea. The line between friendship and attraction was becoming blurred.

At least for her.

Edward had told her that he was trying to make himself a better man for this mystery woman. But in all honesty, Bella didn't know where he found the time. Edward's free time seemed to be primarily taken up by doing things with his new roomie. This other woman _had_ to be someone he worked with. She prayed that she wasn't already married or otherwise unavailable to Edward. He seemed so committed to being with her and, as his friend - Bella wanted him to be happy. More than anyone she knew, Bella felt that Edward deserved happiness.

Even so, she couldn't help but feel strangely envious of this woman. This woman who had to be oblivious as to how Edward felt about her. How could she not be? If she knew how much he loved her, surely she wouldn't be able to resist. It also angered her that Edward felt he had to change to prove something to her. Couldn't she see for herself how wonderful he was, just as he was?

Without meaning to or consciously wanting to, Bella spent hours thinking about Edward, his behaviour and how she felt about him.

In all the years that she had been with Jacob, Edward had been the impossibly good-looking _friend_. Never wanting for female companionship, Rose, Alice and Bella had teased him endlessly about his womanizing ways.

In hindsight, had he _really_ been a womanizer? He never cheated on any of his girlfriends; he was always attentive, caring, thoughtful. Until they were gone. And they were always gone after a few months. Perhaps he had simply been searching, the same as anyone. Perhaps he was more discerning that most. Perhaps he had some impossible ideal he was seeking. Who knew?

All Bella did know was that she had begun looking at Edward differently, in ways she never had when she had been with Jacob. She had loved Jacob and while they were together and had never looked anywhere beyond what they had.

She appreciated Edward's beauty, of course. How could she not? She had never considered him _that way_, not before. Now she found herself analyzing and over-analyzing Edward and his many positive attributes. She knew her endless thoughts were bordering on obsessing.

Why on earth was she doing it now when there was no possibility of those thoughts ever being realised?

She had a lovely man of her own, interested and available. Why couldn't he be enough?

Garrett had been extremely understanding; allowing Bella to set the pace for their relationship but letting her know, in no uncertain terms, that he was interested. She liked Garrett but she was moving their relationship forward at a glacial pace, not quite sure what was holding her back. Or rather, having an idea what was holding her back but afraid to admit it openly.

Garrett believed Bella's reticence was due to being betrayed so horribly in her relationship with Jacob and he was prepared to give her all the space she needed. He was smitten and believed she was worth the effort of waiting for. He wanted and needed to earn her trust.

She had met with Garrett a few times for coffee and dinner. He had even come to watch her play touch football one Monday evening. Bella briefly introduced Garrett to a few members of the team, including Edward. They left together straight after the game, instead of going to the Lord Dudley for a drink.

Bella honestly enjoyed Garrett's company and she found him attractive and easy to be around. He just wasn't Edward. At the end of their time together, she was always ready to say goodbye or goodnight.

She knew that she should give her relationship with Garrett a chance, allow herself to be swept away and put hopeless thoughts of things that would never be far from her mind. She felt uneasy, as though perched on a precipice, unsure of what way the breeze would blow and in which direction she would fall.

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**A/N: Thanks so much for reading. I'd love to know what you think.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns. I own a couple of pairs of prescription glasses.**

**A/N: Thank you, Rinabina for finding the time to beta this chapter. I appreciate it more than you know :))**

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**Best Throw – Chapter 11**

Bella was absentmindedly swirling her finger on the trackpad of her MacBook as she scrutinized an image and contemplated a few minor variations to the open document in Photoshop.

She was sitting in the front sunroom of the apartment and from time to time, raised her head above the monitor to scan the stretch of blue sky and ocean. Each time she swept her eyes across the view she inhaled deeply and sighed. It was an inspiring spot to work. She was planning the layout for a fold out brochure to accompany the film poster that she and Rose had recently delivered to Wagtail Films.

Bella's concentration was so intent that she jumped when an orchestral sound began blaring from her mobile phone. It was _The Imperial March_ from _Star Wars_ and Bella grinned as realisation dawned. It was Edward's new, personalized ringtone. "Mr. Cullen, I presume," she drawled playfully as she answered.

"Bella," his low voice rumbled and Bella fought back an involuntary shudder. "The plumbers have called, asking me to transfer funds to pay them. I just wanted to check the hot water was working properly again."

"Yep. They replaced the entire system though, Edward. That's got to be so expensive." Bella bit her lip and frowned. "How much is it? I need to work out how to pay my share."

"Don't even think about it, little duck. It's all part of wear and tear on the apartment - that's my cost, not yours. Don't sweat it."

"But I-"

"Shush."

"Edw-"

Edward, made a growling sound from deep in his throat and Bella shuddered, for real. "Bella, I don't want to hear it. Stop. Now." Bella sighed in defeat. "That's better," he said, smugly satisfied.

Bella could hear Edward's office chair creak and his relaxed groan as she imagined him stretching. "Now, onto more important matters. I need to work a little late tonight. Want me to pick up some take-out from that Italian place in Clovelly on my way home?"

"Um, actually…Garrett's coming by to pick me up. He's going to take me out for dinner at the restaurant in the Grand National Hotel in Paddington."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well…that's great." There was a snapping sound as though Edward released his chair mechanism, sitting upright swiftly. "The restaurant there is supposed to be really good. Have fun."

"Sure. Thanks, Edward."

"Just remember, not too late, young lady – it's a school night." Edward's tone was teasing and Bella was oblivious that the sentiment behind his words was anything but.

Garrett sent a text to Bella's mobile, mid afternoon.

_**G: **__Can I pick you up about five? I'd like to show you something before dinner._

_**E:**__ Sure, I could be persuaded. What are you showing me?_

_**G:**__ Aha. That would be telling. Nothing too exciting, just something I'd like to share._

Bella's curiosity was piqued but she waited patiently until Garrett rang her doorbell later that afternoon. As usual, he was exactly on time.

"Hi," she said, suddenly feeling shy. Her fingers were grasped tightly around the edge of the doorframe.

"Bella," he breathed and leaned forward to kiss her lips swiftly but chastely. "It's so good to see you. You look gorgeous."

Bella smiled and stepped back from the doorway to allow him in. It was the first time that Garrett had been inside the apartment.

"Fantastic place," he enthused as he glanced around. "So much character and really quite spacious…and comfortable." He ran his hand along the back of the olive green sofa and Bella felt her cheeks heat for some inexplicable reason.

"I know, it's great, isn't it? I'm so lucky Edward is letting me stay here for a while."

"Hmm," said Garrett, his face passive. "So, do I get the five cent tour before we go?"

"Sure," Bella laughed and linked her fingers loosely with his as she showed him around.

When they walked out into the long, narrow, northern sunroom, Garrett pointed at the wall at one end. "What an unusual cabinet."

"It is, isn't it?" answered Bella, frowning. It looked to have been handmade using cupboard doors from an antique Kauri pine dresser. The carvings were intricate and dark, contrasting with the honey yellow of the timber.

"Is it just decorative or does he use if for something specific?"

"You know? I really must ask Edward sometime, I've never thought to before." Bella shrugged.

They continued to explore the apartment, Bella pointing out bits and pieces, items that she and Edward had purchased together. As they moved down the hallway, Bella indicated toward the bathroom and Edward's room. Then she paused outside an open door. "Yeah, this is my room," she said, waving her hand like an awkward game show hostess.

"It looks like you, your personality." Garrett was standing just behind her and his breath ghosted over the back of Bella's neck. "I like the prints, the artists drawings on the walls. Disney and Pixar fan?"

Bella felt the skin on her neck break out into goose bumps but she didn't think they were from desire. She shrugged again and smiled. The power of speech had deserted her, apparently along with the ability to take a step forward into the room. The power of her blush, however, was working overtime. They stood together in the doorway, seemingly unable to move forward or back.

Garrett bent his head and placed a whisper soft kiss on the side of Bella's neck. "I'm not going to rush you, Bella. But you should know, if you ever decide to invite me inside this room…I will go, very willingly." Bella's breath caught in her throat.

Garrett broke the tension by grabbing her by the hand, pulling her back toward the entrance of the apartment and saying blithely, "But for now, we have somewhere else to be. Let's go."

It was only about ten minutes later that Garrett parked in the middle of the shopping district on Clovelly Road. "This," he said proudly, tossing his head over his shoulder. "This is my store."

The Clovelly shopping area was basically a single strip, quite village-like but on a smaller scale than where Bella worked in Woollahra. It was much more relaxed, perhaps given its proximity to the beach. There were a mixture of café, fashion boutiques, basic amenities and other food outlets.

Garrett's store was small and flagged on either side by a doctor's surgery and an Italian take-away eatery. Bella noted that it was the same place that Edward had offered to pick up dinner from that evening. She frowned, annoyed with herself for continually allowing thoughts of Edward to pervade her mind.

Bella had visited this area many, many times and was surprised that she had never registered that there was even an optometrist store in the vicinity. The shop front was nondescript; a glass door framed in painted timber of off-white.

"Oh," she said. "This is _your_ store." She raised her brows and nodded to Garrett. "It's a great location."

"It is," he agreed. "You know, most independent optometrists are going out of business these days. The big chains are too price competitive, squeezing us little guys out of the game.

"But I've been lucky. I'm just about to go into my fourth year here. All my customers live in the area; the residents are really enthusiastic about supporting local business. So long as you do the right thing by them and provide a good service, they're behind you one hundred per cent. Just about all of my new business comes via word of mouth."

Garrett stood a little taller when he spoke about his business. Over the years, he had ploughed his heart and soul into building it up and entrenching himself as part of the local community. He was proud of his efforts.

The door squeaked slightly as he held it open for Bella and he touched her lower back gently as she entered the store.

The store was narrow and light. Cream coloured walls, light timber cabinets below row after row of metal racks holding a range of stylish optical glasses and sunglasses. The floor was covered in a carpet of sea grass. It was all very neutral and fresh, an atmosphere of minimalist beach chic. Framed sepia antique prints of the swimming baths at Coogee and Clovelly adorned the walls.

Garrett watched Bella intently as her fingertips ghosted over the arms of different eyeglass frames and committed to memory the ones that she appeared to linger on the most. "I know you don't wear glasses but perhaps we can fit you in some sunglasses one day soon?" he suggested.

Bella smiled at him, sweet and non-committal.

Toward the back of the shop were two sofa chairs and a counter. And beyond the counter was a wall displaying various sized pliers and other optical equipment. It all appeared very technical and impressive.

A woman, perhaps in her mid thirties, dark-skinned with long straight hair and funky green metallic glasses, appeared to be packing up for the day.

"Thanks for waiting Renate, you can get going now." Garrett beamed at the woman, an unspoken message passing between them. He then turned to offer introductions.

"Bella, this is my optical assistant and sister, Renate." Garrett stood next to his sister and wrapped his arm around her waist, giving her a brief hug. The older woman gave a tight smile, her eyes appraising Bella as she stepped forward.

Bella extended her hand. "Pleased to meet you, Renate. I didn't know Garrett kept his business in the family."

"Bella," Renate's smile became more genuine as they shook hands. "It's lovely to meet you. Garrett talks of little else." Bella felt her face heat and would have noticed Garrett blush as well but his darker skin tone hid his embarrassment.

Renate turned to her brother. "Babe, I've got to get home, Alistair can't get Maggie to settle…my daughter…" She added as an aside to Bella. "Can I just run through a couple of last minute bookings for tomorrow with you?"

Garrett smiled apologetically at Bella and indicated for her to continue looking around while he finished business for the day. Renate spoke to Garrett for several minutes before bidding both him and Bella good night. She swept out of the store with her mobile phone stuck to her ear as she attempted to placate her two-year old daughter and stressed-out husband.

Once Renate had left, Garrett turned the lock in the front door and faced Bella, smiling shyly. "She's very…protective of me. She likes you, though."

Bella picked at an invisible thread on her jeans. As usual, Garrett sensed her discomfort and changed tack. "Would you like me to show you out back?"

The darkened examination room was cramped. There was a long desk along one wall, housing computer equipment and an ornate antique box of lenses. "My grandfather's," said Garrett when he noticed her pausing over it. "It's strangely beautiful, yes?" Bella nodded in agreement, fingering the worn leather on the lid of the case.

Two patient chairs sat at opposite ends of the room; one with the standard optometry machine to test eyesight and another, smaller contraption that was unfamiliar to Bella. "I use that one to take digital eye photography and test the macular," Garrett said. He waved to the other seat, smirking. "How long since you've had your eyes tested?"

Bella swallowed, feeling flustered. "Um, not since I was at school. My eyesight is fine, actually, Garrett."

"Oh come on," he teased lightly. "Let me have a peek?"

Bella waved her hand in the air, mildly flustered but not wishing to show it. "Oh fine, examine away." Garrett chuckled.

Bella found the rhythmic clicking, back and forth, of lenses in the equipment to be soothing. She responded softly to Garrett's simple questions. "Which set of dots is clearer, left or right?" or "Which side is sharper, red or green?"

Their faces were incredibly close, separated only by the metal and glass of the optical equipment. They spoke softly to each other and Bella started to feel uncomfortable, both by Garrett's proximity and the growing intimacy of the situation. She became conscious of the sound of their mingled breaths and although they were breathing normally, the lack of background noise made it seem as though they were panting.

"Just as I suspected," Garrett's sudden words made her jolt in her seat.

"What?" she said, louder than intended.

"Your eyes," he said. "Fathomless."

"Shut up." She snorted derisively.

Garrett laughed easily. "Seriously though, you have the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen. They're so expressive." Seeing Bella squirm once more, he added lightly, "And your vision is perfect 20:20. Nothing for me here. Pity."

"Sorry to cheat you out of a potential new customer."

Garrett shrugged. "I'll live."

He moved the equipment so that there was nothing between them but kept himself close. Bella felt herself hold her breath. "Bella," he said. It was practically a whisper.

Bella swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. "Mmmm?"

"I want to take you out for dinner…I just want to tell you two things."

Bella licked her lips, trying without success to drum up some saliva. "Okay."

"First…please don't be scared of me. I'm not the bad guy."

Bella huffed a laugh through her nose and felt the beginnings of a ramble. "I know that, Garrett, you're great, I like spending time with you. It's just that I-"

"Shhh. Please," he begged. "Wait."

"Okay," she acquiesced, biting the inside of her cheek.

"Second…you can trust me. I'm not going to hurt you." He sighed, heavily. "I couldn't hurt you, ever."

Bella wondered, idly, whether she could say the same thing but shook off the guilty thought. Instead she reached to hold his hand and stood up. "Thanks Garrett. I appreciate how patient you are with me and…I'm sorry but I know that you understand." She blew a breath upward to lift a strand of hair that had fallen to her forehead and leaned to kiss him quickly on the cheek. "Let's go to dinner."

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**A/N: Thanks so much for reading. I'd love to know what you think.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns.**

**A/N: Thank you, Rinabina for finding the time to beta this chapter. She, like many of you, is creeped out by Garrett. You people are unkind - lol.**

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**Best Throw – Chapter 12**

Garrett felt like a circus acrobat, managing a balancing act on a high wire. So far, so good but he felt like he was performing without a net.

"More wine?" he asked with a shy smile. He lifted the bottle in anticipation and tilted his head.

"Just a little, I guess," she responded, watching him pour expertly. "It's really good, thanks." She licked her lips, tasting remnants of her last sip and caught Garrett staring at her mouth as he placed the bottle back on the table.

Garrett was ridiculously attracted to Bella but he was an empathetic character and he sensed her unease, her hesitation. He knew he had to tread carefully and be aware of her changes of mood.

He wanted to make her understand very clearly that he desired her and yet he knew that pushing things would scare her away. He most definitely did not want to scare her away. Garrett was entranced and completely smitten. He found Bella highly attractive - gorgeous in fact. She was intelligent, creative, fun and extremely easy to spend time with. At the end of their time together, he always longed for more.

His mother had died a few years prior. She had witnessed the ugliness of his marriage breakdown and, as horrible as it had been, had made him promise not to give up on love. His sister, Renate, slightly older than he, was being rather overbearing in her inherited mothering approach. She was opinionated and intrusive regarding the development of his burgeoning relationship with Bella.

Renate had also been there to witness how Garrett had been emotionally damaged when his first marriage ended. Her reaction was more cynical and her protectiveness made her strongly urge caution. She could tell, even though things were progressing slowly with Bella, that Garrett had fallen,_ hard_.

"Just be sure honey, be sure that she feels as strongly as you before you get too involved or get yourself hurt." Renate had ruffled his hair before punching him affectionately in the arm.

Garrett remembered her counsel, just days before. But he was powerless to stop his growing affection – he was drunk with hunger for all things Bella.

He felt it each time his overly enthusiastic advances made Bella slightly uncomfortable, earlier in the afternoon. He commended himself that as soon as he became aware, he stepped back and gave her space. He was making a concerted effort over this evening's dinner to keep things relaxed and easy. He was certain she knew how he felt and he longed for the time when he could be free to express the depth of his emotions.

"So, I was thinking, this weekend – have you ever been snorkeling just outside Clovelly Beach?" He raised his eyebrows anticipating her response.

"Oh my God, I _love_ snorkeling there. Edward and I do it all the time. Bluey the Groper, have you swum with him? He's a local legend. We've seen him twice. He's absolutely _enormous_ but so gentle and graceful." Bella chuckled, lost in her musing. "And so _blue_…he swam right up to Edward once. I've got a photo, it's magical." Garrett noticed how animated Bella had become. He wondered whether snorkeling was her passion or something else entirely.

"With Edward, eh? That's great." Garrett nodded and swallowed his frustration along with a bite of his beef. It seemed as though each time he suggested a possible activity to do with Bella, it was something that she had already done with Edward. His presence was a haunting specter in every conversation. "So, you really enjoy snorkeling then?"

Bella was grinning and shrugging, oblivious to Garrett's growing sensitivity. "Edward's such a great swimmer, I struggle to keep up with him."

Bella's hair and skin shined from the soft glow emitting from the frosted candlelit hurricane lamp in the centre of their table. Garrett longed to reach across the table and kiss her but he restrained himself. He had noticed her staring intently at him this evening and his insides burned with the hope that her stares were also ones of longing, matching his desire.

~~~~~TBT~~~~~

Bella had relaxed from her two glasses of wine. She was enjoying dinner with Garrett but her inner monologue was driving her to distraction.

She kept staring at him, waiting for that kick of sexual attraction. It was eluding her and it frustrated her. Garrett was a good man, a decent man. He was excellent company and very attractive. He wanted her.

She watched as he cut his food into small pieces and then combined his beef with different vegetables, creating a layering effect before placing his fork neatly to his mouth. She smiled, thinking how different Edward was. He didn't like to mix flavours while he ate, or even to have different food groups touching on his plate.

Edward was such a weirdo but just thinking about him sent an unwelcome, aroused flush throughout her body.

She knew she had to stop thinking about Edward in that way. It was not helpful.

Perhaps she needed to simply launch herself into a more physical relationship with Garrett? He leaned over his plate and a lock of dark, brown hair fell forward onto his brow. She thought about pushing it back from his face. It would be a sign. Would touching him that way finally release the passion she longed to feel?

She wasn't a teenager any longer. Perhaps those feelings weren't as readily accessible when one was in their mid-twenties. Perhaps she needed to work harder to uncover them. Would it be so awful to sleep with Garrett and see whether those feelings could develop? They cared for each other. Would moving things forward physically allow her feelings to evolve?

Being mid-week, there were only three other groups of diners in the restaurant – a quiet family of four, a group of male businessmen, swearing and pontificating about everything from the government to the state of the economy and another couple, much older than Garrett and Bella.

Bella's eyes frequently drifted to the older couple. They appeared so comfortable with each other, laughing frequently and chatting. The man regularly touched the woman tenderly on the side of her face and she squeezed his hand over the table more than once. Their eyes held expressions of affection and warmth toward each other.

Bella wanted that in her future. She wanted someone to walk through life with. Someone to make lasting memories with now that would be shared for the rest of her life. It wasn't going to come to her by magic. She had to put herself out there and seek it. She had to reach for the life she wanted with both hands and grasp it.

When Garrett and Bella left the restaurant, the streets were damp from a recent shower. Bella shivered from the slight chill and Garrett reached to rub his hand along her bare arm. She smiled awkwardly and he stepped closer to draw her into his arms. He held her flush against his body and before she could react, he lowered his head and pressed a firm, full-lipped kiss to her mouth. He pulled away, only far enough to speak and continued to hold her close. His lips brushed repeatedly against hers as he spoke.

"I know we have work tomorrow but come, let me show you my house," he said. His voice was husky and rough. "I promise to take you home as soon as you ask. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do…but…I…I want to feel close to you, Bella. Please."

Bella rested her forehead on Garrett's chest and took a few cleansing breaths. She lifted her head and stared deep into his eyes. "Okay."

She wasn't sure if this was it. She only knew that she had to try.

~~~~~TBT~~~~~

It was after midnight when Bella finally arrived back to Edward's apartment. She pushed her key forcefully into the lock, as it had a habit of sticking, and turned slowly so as not to make too much noise.

The first thing that assaulted her senses was the smell. On reflex, she leaned back and checked the apartment number on the door. Edward's apartment did _not_ smell like this.

The stench was rank with beer and greasy, takeaway food.

There was no overhead light and a solitary lamp lit the living room dimly. Surfaces were littered with empty beer bottles. The coffee table was covered with opened boxes of Chinese food. There were noodles spilled on the floor.

This did not look like Edward's apartment. Edward's apartment was neat and pristine, left spotless after every meal. It certainly did not smell like Edward's apartment. Edward's apartment smelled of surface cleanser and scented candles, not stale beer and Mongolian beef.

Edward was stretched out on his back on the sofa, one arm wrapped around his head and the other laying across his stomach. He was shirtless, wearing a pair of stretch cotton sleep shorts and his feet were bare. He appeared to be either fast asleep or, more likely, passed out and drunk. Bella detected the faint sound of a snore as Edward inhaled deeply through his open mouth.

Edward didn't do drunk. Not ever.

Something was wrong, something was very wrong. Could something have happened at work? She didn't think so, as work had been going so well for him lately. The mining boom in Australia meant that the business was extraordinarily profitable and confidence was high. Anyway, Edward never got overly stressed about his career. Edward loved the work he was doing and the people he was working with.

_The people he was working with._

Bella shuddered. The woman. Edward's woman. Could he have finally declared himself and been rejected? How could she reject him? What was she, a complete moron?

The light was on in the northern sunroom and it beckoned to Bella. There were several more empty beer bottles strewn about but Bella's eyes were drawn to the wall cabinet at the end of the room. It was open.

Bella didn't need to ask what Edward kept in the cabinet. She could see for herself, clear as day.

It had been used this evening and it left evidence of an experienced player, three spikes declaring an impressive score.

It was a dartboard.

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**A/N: Thanks so much for reading. I'd love to know what you think. I apologise for my lack of response to reviews lately. I have been caring for someone who is unwell and it has taken up a lot of my time. I appreciate anyone who is taking the time to read the story.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer****: Stephanie Meyer still owns.**

**A/N: Sorry for the late post. Be warned. The major characters are young, clueless and all about to be hit even harder with the stupid stick. Give them time.**

**Not betad - apologies for the errors. **

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**Best Throw – Chapter 13**

Bella didn't know why she was surprised to learn that Edward owned a dartboard. He was a guy. Guys did things like owning dartboards and foosball tables, Halo for their Xbox. Guys liked games. No big deal.

Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that maybe it _seemed_ like a big deal.

She wondered if it was more than coincidence that darts was the game Edward had lost to Jacob all those years ago. Did it ever bother him that he had lost the game and the chance to date Bella way back when?

It was one silly, seemingly innocuous event that set the course of her life for years into the future. Five years.

Five wasted years with Jacob.

Bella wrinkled her nose at the stale smell in the living room and scoffed. She chastised herself for even considering that Edward owning a dartboard had anything remotely to do with her. He had dated tons of beautiful girls and women over the years. Edward and Bella were _friends,_ best friends. She knew that he loved her but he didn't think about her _that _way.

What was far more important was the fact that Edward had behaved completely out of character this evening and was extremely upset about something. And drunk. He was obviously very, very drunk.

Given his almost comatose state, Bella figured the only way to help Edward right now was by being practical. She stopped speculating on what might have happened. It was easier to deal with the situation at hand.

She grabbed the recycling container from the kitchen, hefting it under her arm and wandered about, collecting the empty beer bottles. They were littered, quite randomly all around the living room and the sunroom – almost as though Edward had been pacing throughout the apartment as he drank.

A frown marred her brow as she worked. Edward hadn't used a single coaster and he was normally fastidious about that sort of thing. As she removed two offending bottles from his beloved oak sideboard she observed the telltale rings left behind from the amber liquid. It was so unlike him.

Bella took care not to clang the bottles together as she placed them inside the container. Although, she could have probably made enough noise to raise the dead and still receive no response from Edward - he looked that out of it.

She moved from one area to the next as Edward slumbered, utterly unaware. Occasionally, she heard him let out a low moan or slur an indecipherable word. In the time it took her to turn her head toward him, he sighed and resumed his deep, drunken breathing.

Assuming that he had been drinking alone, the sheer quantity of booze he had consumed was both horrific and impressive. She was grateful that he hadn't taken himself to the point of becoming physically ill and grimaced, remembering her own past failing in that regard.

Once Bella had collected all the empty beer bottles, she carried them downstairs to the communal recycling area and deposited them there. She was conscious of not waking their neighbours and extremely aware that it was now the early hours of the morning. She cringed, wondering how well she was going to function at work later today, based on only a few hours of sleep.

Upon returning, she noticed that the smell had already begun to improve in the living room so she set to work cleaning up the mess from the fast food.

She used paper toweling to gather the noodles from the floor and picked up the half eaten containers of rice, meat and vegetables, sealing them in several plastic bags before also depositing them in the outside garbage. Finally, she mopped the floorboards over with a damp cloth, using a special cleaner that Edward purchased expressly for that purpose.

She knew that when he woke in the morning his first thought would be to fret over the state he had left the apartment before passing out. At least she had eliminated that concern. She continued to feel troubled as she worked, hating that this was all she could do for him right now.

She walked to the sunroom and slowly pulled the three, feather-tipped darts from the board, running her middle and index fingers thoughtfully along the shaft and flight several times. Then, she placed them carefully on a shelf beneath the board and closed the beautifully crafted cabinet, using the key that had been left in the door. She traced her fingers softly over the intricate pine carving, before placing the key within easy sight, on top of the nearby windowsill.

Once every soiled surface had been sprayed fresh and wiped clean, it looked and smelled like Edward's apartment again. Home. Bella grinned, thinking that Edward himself could not have done a more thorough job. Perhaps his compulsive tendencies were rubbing off?

She stepped quietly toward the sofa and stood - staring down at Edward. She debated whether to wake him and urge him into his own bed, or to simply leave him to sleep off the whole episode right where he was.

After a solid five minutes, she realised she was still standing above Edward and staring. Just staring.

Even flat out drunk, there was no denying he was almost painfully beautiful. He was lying on his back with his head tilted to one shoulder. His right palm lay across his bare stomach and his middle finger twitched periodically as he dreamed. His left arm was wrapped around his head with his long fingers widespread, sunk deep into his mess of hair. His mouth was slightly open and his breaths, through his startlingly cherry coloured lips, were even and deep.

She assessed his body with a critical eye. It wasn't perfect. He didn't work out at the gym to build six-pack abs or pectoral muscles to bounce cherries from. That was Jacob's deal. Edward's beauty was natural and God-given.

He was lightly muscled and lean. His shoulders were broad and his torso and limbs were long and elegantly shaped. She had never studied his naked feet before but, just like the rest of him, they were a work of art. His right foot was pointing inward slightly, as though in conversation with his left.

Jacob regularly waxed his chest because he believed it gave his muscles greater definition. In the past, Edward teased him mercilessly but good-naturedly for his vanity. He couldn't see the point and declared smugly that waxing was _for girls _whereas he was _a man_.

Edward's own body hair was sparse and still allowed the definition of his shape to be clearly seen. Bella had never really considered before whether she had a preference but to her, Edward's body hair was manly and even erotic. The hair tapered into a narrow, dark, vertical line, just above the waistline of his shorts. His belly was flat and looked strong.

A dark shadow lay across Edward's exposed jaw, his beard had always grown quickly. Yet, the skin beneath was luminous, still pale even though he spent a considerable amount of time outdoors. Bella smirked. She remembered how diligently Edward enforced the application of high protection sunscreen to both their bodies, every time they went outside.

He took such good care of her.

Suddenly, she shook her head in disgust, realising that she was standing there, openly objectifying a practically naked Edward while he was completely incapacitated and unaware of her ogling. She was no better than a tradesman who wolf-whistled at a girl as she walked past a building site.

Shrugging away her shame, she decided to place a throw rug over his naked chest and leave him be to sleep things off.

Unfortunately, in her natural state of clumsiness, as she reached for the throw, she tripped over the leg of the coffee table and pitched forward. Her hands splayed and she landed directly on top of him.

Edward made a sudden "Oof," noise as Bella's full body weight landed atop his. His entire body stiffened before his arms instinctively wrapped themselves around Bella's back. He inhaled sharply and deeply, letting out a deep exhale almost as quickly and seemingly with relief.

"M-m-m, mah," he slurred drunkenly - his speech not reacting anywhere near as quickly as his limbs. Bella pushed herself up with her arms and lifted her head. She was inches away from Edward's face and her expression betrayed the horror and guilt she felt for waking him so abruptly.

Edward's eyes widened and then narrowed as he attempted to focus on her face. Before she could utter her apology, he gripped the back of her head and pulled her forward. In an instant, his mouth was on hers, hard and soft and wet in equal measure. Heat flooded to Bella's cheeks and chest. In fact her whole body began throbbing as her blood coursed. It was like flipping a switch.

It was everything that hadn't happened earlier tonight with Garrett.

Before she could think about what she was doing, she was responding. Her mouth opened to his and their tongues tangled. He tasted of beer and Chinese food and she couldn't have cared less. He had obviously showered after work and underneath the veneer of booze she inhaled his body wash and the natural, delicious musk of his skin. She wanted more. She craved it like air.

Her flattened palms roamed recklessly over his naked torso, claiming him and reveling in his firmness and strength. Eventually, her hands moved upward and her fingers traced the bones of his face before wrapping around his head and sinking deeply into his impossibly soft hair, anchoring him to her. She felt limpet-like as though she might never detach.

Edward was growing and hardening beneath her and instinctively they ground against one another, making low, guttural sounds of satisfaction and frustration. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind, she wondered about the fact that being inebriated was meant to hamper a man's sexual responsiveness. Obviously that rule did not apply to Edward Cullen.

She had never felt more alive, more connected, more torn apart in her life. Their bodies fit together so completely that she sighed at the joy of it. It had never been like this. Never. Not even in all her years with Jacob.

Their lips and tongues broke apart briefly to trail messy kisses across jaws and necks and ears before they gulped for air and latched back together, seeking the hidden depths of each other's mouths. Edward's evening stubble chaffed against Bella's face. She didn't even register.

No real words were spoken just the odd grunt or sigh, a ragged breath. He was incapable of forming words anyway and her brain had checked itself at the door.

Bella could feel Edward's hands exploring her back. At times, his touch was tender and at others he gripped her almost desperately. He stroked and tugged her hair and then reached underneath to trace the skin of her neck and shoulders before sliding his hands back down, fingering the bumps in her spine and then cupping her behind to rock their hips against one another, over and over.

Her breath began to hitch and she scrunched her eyes tight as she orgasmed unexpectedly. It washed spontaneously over her like an ocean wave. She pulled her mouth away from Edward's and panted heavily into his neck, riding through the sensation.

Bella couldn't remember a time when she had climaxed without consciously seeking release, either by her own hand or the hand or mouth of her partner.

As she lay there panting, Edward's hot breath came out in puffs along the hairline of her temple. She felt his open mouth and tongue reaching out to taste her salt-laced skin as he continued to buck into her and meld their bodies ever closer. Moments later, she felt him pulsing beneath her. He stopped breathing, stilling his body as the pads of his fingertips pressed sharply into her thighs and he shuddered again and again, finally letting out a rushed breath and moaning low and deep.

After a few moments, their bodies relaxed and their breathing slowed. Edward was stroking her hair and nuzzling the side of her face, groaning softly. Bella let her weight sink fully on top of Edward as she lay, sprawled across his chest.

Still, no words were spoken. She shifted to one side, moving into the crack between Edward and the sofa and her fingers traced lazy patterns over his chest, circling around a nipple. Edward stirred and shivered, his skin breaking out in goose bumps.

Finally, he struggled to say something. His eyes were closed and although his speech was slurred and thick, his voice was husky with affection.

"M-mm-ma…my…Lil…ma…my Lil."

Bella stiffened.

My Lil? Lillian? Lilly?

Who the hell was that?

Was it _her_?

Whatever he was trying to say or whomever he thought he was saying it to, it certainly wasn't _Bella_.

Realisation stung. As alive as Edward had made her body feel, while he was kissing and touching her, _she hadn't been the one he was thinking of_.

Shame and rejection coursed through her as she felt her body chill and grow rigid. She lifted her hand sharply away from his chest, moving it to her own side.

Bella couldn't blame him in the least. Edward's behaviour was understandable – he was blind drunk, upset and obviously thinking or dreaming of another.

On the other hand, Bella had no excuse whatsoever. In fact, she had just returned home, completely sober, from a _date_ with another man. Another man whom she had completely forgotten during her mad, brief moments with Edward, when all she could think was…_Edward._

Bella's fingers curled into fists. Anger and embarrassment boiled within her.

She used her other arm to push up and move off the sofa but Edward tightened his grip around her.

"N-n-no," he pleaded.

"Edward. Please. Let me go." Her tone was cold and distant. Edward released her immediately. His eyes were opened now, wary and fearful.

"B-b-but…" he began.

"Please, Edward," she said. "This was my fault. I shouldn't have let it happen. It was unforgiveable, I'm so sorry." She turned away as she spoke so that he wouldn't see her sudden tears or wretched expression.

Edward remained on the sofa but began squirming, trying to sit up and still struggling to form words of protest. Bella held her hand up behind her, palm out, hoping to silence him.

"Stop. Please." The detached tone of her voice made him freeze.

"We both need to get some sleep. And you're in no state to discuss anything. We'll talk when you're feeling better." Bella dropped her hand heavily to her side. "Or never," she muttered under her breath. She raised her voice and turned her head slightly to address him. "Goodnight, Edward."

Bella's footsteps were heavy as she walked down the hallway to her bedroom without a backward glance.

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**A/N: Thank you for the understanding regarding lack of review replies. It thrills me no end to find out that someone is reading and what they think. RL is throwing me a curve right now.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except characters who can't see the forest for the trees. Stephanie Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: **_**Chapter 13 review award**_** goes to frostedglaze who suggested that, in Edward's drunken slur, he was trying to say, 'Mylanta'. I may have peed laughing.**

**Not betad. Apologies for any errors.**

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**The Best Throw – Chapter 14**

Bella lay in bed, curled up on her left side. She was unable to sleep despite the ridiculously late hour. She could almost hear her thoughts ticking over and over, skittishly darting from one direction to the next.

Functioning tomorrow, in any human capacity, was going to present a challenge.

The fingers of her right hand ghosted briefly to her swollen lips, before they drifted to her breasts and then tightened on their downward journey to her belly and her hips.

She was trying to mirror the way Edward had held her, recreate the frantic manner in which his hands had gripped her body. She could still smell him on her skin and the way her body had sung in response to his touch was forever tattooed into her DNA.

But he hadn't been thinking of her.

The reality of that knowledge winded Bella to the point of physical pain. Unrequited…whatever this was…was fierce and gutting.

She had too many emotions to contend with for one night - dozens of conflicting thoughts. And they were literally racing from the sublime to the ridiculous.

At least it was finally clear to her why she was struggling to progress her relationship with Garrett.

Her _relationship_ with _Garrett_.

The words appeared in capitals, stamping themselves in bold fonts on the lining of her brain. Ever the designer, she even recognised the font, _Stencil_. She rolled over onto her back and groaned in frustration at the ridiculous way her mind worked.

Bella was in a _relationship_ with Garrett and was pining away with lust for her best friend. Yes, lust. She could deal with lust. She couldn't deal with anything beyond that.

She recalled her tentative hope, earlier that very afternoon with Garrett – it seemed months ago - to their relationship dance of one-step-forward, two-steps-back - and ultimately her attempt to move things forward.

As they drove to his home after dinner, Bella mentally prepared herself to have sex with Garrett, to see whether sex would be the impetuous to allow her to let go and _feel_ more than she currently seemed capable of. She desperately needed to move on from this ridiculous holding pattern.

Always the gentleman, Garrett had also been adorably shy and awkward, showing Bella around his small, semi-detached house. He politely offered and made coffee for both of them. They had sat, side by side on the chocolate brown, leather sofa in his sparse but tastefully decorated living room.

Sipping periodically from his steaming cup, Garrett had fidgeted for at least ten minutes before asking, in a low voice, whether he could kiss her.

Bella didn't hesitate and proceeded, with every conscious thought, to lose herself in the kiss. Of course, losing oneself by virtue of conscious thought was, in itself, a kind of oxymoron.

Garrett stroked her hair and cupped her face reverently. He held her close, touching her firmly but still respectfully. Bella opened her mouth to him and explored his body, running her hands over his fully clothed form. She was silently begging her heart, or at the very least her libido, to _feel, react, anything._

With their chests pressed together, Garrett mistook her pounding, panicking heartbeats for arousal and began to lower her onto the sofa cushions, slowly unbuttoning her shirt. His breath was hot on her neck, and his voice a husky murmur, when he told her she was beautiful to him, told her how much he wanted her.

The minute Bella felt Garrett's prone body stretched above her and pressing into her own, she stilled. Her palms flattened and her fingers spread out on his chest. When she applied the slightest pressure, he sensed it immediately.

"I'm sorry," she said. Her words were hushed and heavy with regret.

"It's alright, Bella," he soothed but his voice sounded taut. She could feel for herself, it wasn't anywhere near being all right.

Garrett leaned back, supporting his own weight with his arms and Bella groaned loudly in frustration. She lifted her arms and rubbed the heels of her hands over her forehead. "I'm acting like some sort of teenaged schoolgirl. I don't know what's wrong with me. You really shouldn't put up with it."

"You're worth it, believe me," he said and placed a gentle kiss to her cheek. He lingered for a moment, inhaling with his eyes closed and his nose pressed to her temple. Then he straightened, pulling them both upright but continuing to hold her close to his side. He blew out one, long breath through pursed lips.

"Thank you for allowing me this much. Just to hold you, however briefly tonight…it's enough for me…for now." He smiled at her but the smile was tinged with melancholy. He flitted his eyes to gaze into his illuminated back garden as Bella re-buttoned her shirt.

"Trust me," he continued, staring forward. "I can be patient…so long as…just tell me that you still want to try this. If there's something or someone stopping you from wanting more I'd rather you just told-"

Bella pushed her fingertips against his lips to halt his words. "Wait," she said. She tilted his face to hers and studied his sincere and kind expression for a long moment.

She didn't understand exactly what was making her so hesitant but she knew better than to throw away the possibility of being with a good man.

Garrett was unquestionably a good man. And she knew she didn't want to be alone. "Of course I want more, Garrett." She sighed deeply. "I'm sure I don't deserve your patience."

"Come," he said. He stood and held out his hand, kindly. "Let me take you home."

She had meant what she said, when she said it. But she couldn't rationalize it any longer. Not after the way her body had instantly responded the moment Edward crushed his lips to her own.

Regardless of how Edward felt about her, it was obvious that sort of passion was what she was yearning for. She wondered if she would ever find it with someone else.

And what of them now? Bella and Edward. Had her stupid actions with him this evening ruined their friendship forever? How could they face each other in the morning and pretend as though none of it had happened?

They had both climaxed and they weren't even naked. She hadn't even touched him.

No, he hadn't been thinking of her. Damn it.

_**Earlier that day…**_

Edward leaned back in his office chair. He groaned exaggeratingly and scrubbed his hands viciously over his face and then through his hair.

"Where the hell are those reports?" he growled to himself.

Standing unnoticed at the doorway to his office, Edward's Personal Assistant, Shelly Cope, inhaled sharply. She hoped fervently that Edward never suspected the effect it had on her every time he messed up his hair that way. Unconsciously, she straightened her skirt and stood a little taller.

Just because she was happily married with two teenage sons…it didn't mean she was dead. For shit's sake, that young man was gorgeous.

"Lunch," she called out and grimaced at the waver in her voice. "And coffee," she added as an afterthought, placing both items on his desk.

Edward looked up. "Shelly, I love you," he smirked. "If you weren't already married…and I wasn't worried about a sexual harassment charge…"

"Shut up. You owe me ten bucks."

Edward passed her the money and grinned, wider. "Okay, we'll just have to settle for me naming my first born after you."

"That boy of yours is going to get the shit beaten out of him in school," she quipped back and Edward tossed his head, snorting once through his nose.

With deft, long fingers, Edward unwrapped his lunch but poised with the sandwich halfway to his mouth. "Have we heard from Port Hedland? Do we have an ETA on those reports? I'm going nuts here – I'd like to get home sometime this decade."

"I'll phone Makenna in the office and see what I can find out. They sound pretty frantic over there, boss."

Edward lifted an eyebrow sardonically and munched down on his 3 o'clock lunch. He needed to review those reports before his site visit next week with the new auditors.

That reminded him. "Oh, and can you email me my flight itinerary?" he called through the door.

"Give me five, boss."

Edward loved his job. He had a great team working for him and he knew he was being groomed for the finance director's job, a few years down the track. He was currently finance manager for the largest mines in the company's portfolio.

While the iron ore kept coming out of the mines, and China and Japan kept buying up Australia's natural resources by the ton – business was booming. The Australian economy was dependent on the resources boom and the mood in the business was buoyant, rich with success. Thanks to the mining industry, Australia was largely protected from the global financial crisis and Edward was ever grateful to be part of it. But he knew better than to take his, or the country's, luck for granted.

By 4:30 pm the word from Western Australia was that they needed to pull an all-nighter over there. The reports he needed to review wouldn't arrive until the early hours of the next morning, Sydney time. That meant a sparrow's fart start tomorrow, instead of working back late, as he had told Bella.

His brief rush of excitement was quelled when he remembered that he would be returning to an empty home this evening.

Now that work pressure was off briefly, he had time to consider the situation with Bella and Garrett. A mid-week dinner at an upscale restaurant sounded like commitment. It sounded like a distinct move forward in their relationship. The restaurant at the Grand National had received some noteworthy write-ups recently. Garrett was out to impress. The whole situation had Edward feeling decidedly uneasy.

Damn.

He reached for the speed dial on his phone. Rose didn't answer but he knew Alice would be out of class by now.

"Hey, Cullen," said Alice, answering on the first ring.

"Hey." Silence.

"What's wrong?"

Edward exhaled, heavily. "You've met him, right?"

There was a pause before Alice caught on to his train of thought. "Who? Oh, Garrett?"

"Yeah."

"And?" Alice drawled on the vowel to encourage his elaboration.

"Well, what do you think?"

It was Alice's turn to sigh. "Christ. Oh, Edward, I wish I could tell you the guy was a dick…but he's just…not. He's decent, he cares about her – really cares."

"Bugger me. Have I stuffed this up again?"

"You mean, should you have said something to her by now?"

"Yeah. It feels like…I just have a feeling that she's about to get serious with this guy. I thought she was keeping it really casual but…I don't know, there's this prickling feeling up the back of my neck today – like something's about to happen."

"That's my job buddy – I'm the one who _senses_ things, remember?"

"Well," Alice heard Edward grit his teeth before he continued. "Do you?" His voice was strained and tight.

Alice took a moment to gather her thoughts and Edward almost expired from his anticipation. He literally thought his heart had stopped beating as he waited for her response.

"I know she's frustrated. She's been holding back, keeping him at arm's length…but Rose did say something the other day. She thinks Bella might force things along because she doesn't believe it will happen of its own accord."

"Jesus." Suddenly it became difficult for him to breathe. Edward loosened his tie and undid the top button of his business shirt.

"Yeah." Alice's voice was laced with sympathy.

"I cannot _believe_ I've messed this up _again_, Alice."

"Maybe you haven't, Edward. You always automatically assume the worst. But you really should say something – sooner than later."

Edward rubbed his face and his head hung down to his chest. "I think it might be too late."

Edward's mood continued to sour as he packed up his desk and headed home. He glanced disdainfully at the Italian take away on his journey. Now that he wasn't eating with Bella, his stomach turned at the thought of it.

There was still plenty of light when he got home so he decided to go for a jog along the coast walk and attempt to shake off his disquiet. He ran from Coogee to Bondi Beach and back, exhausting himself, but the endorphins from his exercise didn't make him feel any better.

He showered back at home, rubbing angrily at his skin with his body wash, and threw on some shorts, forgoing a shirt. He had already downed two beers before placing an order for home delivery Chinese.

He stalked the apartment from end to end. His sense of foreboding was cranked up to unmanageable levels.

He was halfway drunk when his dinner arrived. He threw a bunch of notes at the delivery guy who blushed and asked politely whether Edward wanted his change. Edward slammed the door on his spotty face.

"Fuck you, very much, arsehole," whispered the teenaged boy. But he pocketed the tip, just the same.

Edward needed her home by ten. Ten o'clock was time enough for dinner and conversation. Even a kiss goodnight, he could handle that. Just.

Any later than ten and his mind would begin to conjure up scenarios that would have him punching walls.

He was avoiding the northern sunroom but he could hear it taunting him, calling him to try his hand, yet again. It took four beers and the clock to tick halfway to eleven, before he had the courage to open the cabinet.

He ran the flight of the first dart through his fingers repeatedly as his thoughts darkened.

"Hello, you old bastard," he sneered at the dartboard. He straightened up and got ready to take aim. "Let's see who wins the girl tonight, shall we?"

He played against himself, game after game, drinking beer until he lost count. He was surprised that he could even hit the damn board with a dart. The drink actually seemed to improve his game.

He kept glancing at his watch or the clock on his phone, checking for messages that never came. He wanted her home. He needed her home. Now.

He couldn't believe that he may have misjudged the situation with Garrett so completely. Edward and Bella had been spending loads of time together – when did Garrett find the time to wheedle his way into her heart?

Edward had thought it was he and Bella who were growing into more – he thought they would just realise it, naturally. Bella and Edward were meant to be. Why the fuck didn't she see that?

Maybe because he was piss weak and hadn't told her how he felt?

The only thing that eased his anxiety was beer. Lots and lots of cool, crisp, amber coloured liquid. He didn't know why he hadn't thought to use its calming and anesthetic properties to solve his problems before. He was quickly reaching a state where he felt no pain.

Vaguely he recalled that he needed to be in the office by 6:30 am the next day. Minor detail. Not important, really.

He popped the top on another bottle and tipped the long neck to his lips, swallowing quickly and barely tasting, as the alcohol slid coolly down his throat. He suddenly felt painfully tired and moved to sit on the sofa. He lay down on Bella's spot, leaned his head back and closed his eyes as he waited.

* * *

**A/N: I know you want to move forward quickly…this is just a quick reflection on the last 24 hours. You needed to know what happened at Garrett's, right? **

**Is it okay that this chapter makes me feel bad for everyone?**

**I appreciate it so much if you have the time to review and share your thoughts – AG x**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except characters who can't see the forest for the trees. Stephanie Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: Thank you for all the understanding. Yep, the morning after. Probably not what you expected / hoped for****.**

**Not betad. Apologies for any errors.**

* * *

**The Best Throw – Chapter 15**

Bella hoped she was dreaming but everything seemed so vibrant and real.

In the dream, she felt herself being pulled under a powerful ocean wave. The force of the water was buffeting her body back and forth and her limbs flailed wildly. She scrambled with her hands and arms, trying to reach upward toward the water's surface. The undertow was forcing her down, holding her prisoner near the ocean floor. Her eyes strained frantically above but all she could see was an angry swirling froth with startling glimpses of the light blue sky, far beyond. The sky was beautiful, she needed to get to the sky but her body was not her own and continued to be twisted in one direction and then the next. She knew she was running out of time, she needed help, she needed air. Any moment now she feared her lungs would burst from the strain of holding her breath.

The sensation of a sinking weight, somewhere near her knees, caused Bella to startle into wakefulness and gasp loudly.

With her eyes still tightly closed, she inhaled sharply and detected the minty freshness of toothpaste plus something else, something delicious and familiar. Slowly she squinted open one eye.

Edward was sitting on the edge of her mattress, staring warily at her face.

He was freshly showered and dressed in a charcoal grey suit. He hadn't shaved and his eyes were bloodshot and red-rimmed. He looked paler than usual and so very tired. His multihued hair was uniformly darkened from his shower and raked away from his forehead. He kept running his long fingers through it, a nervous habit that was causing it to mess up haphazardly. He continued to fidget and began rubbing two fingers back and forth across his mouth as he waited for Bella to fully waken.

Bella blinked several times and reached to the bedside table for her phone to check the time. It was 5:45 am.

"Shit," she groaned and let her head fall back into her pillow. She was fairly certain she had only slept an hour or two, at best.

"I'm sorry for waking you," he murmured. His voice was rough and deeper than normal. "I didn't want to leave without…" his words drifted away and his fingers starting playing with the sheet on top of the bed, picking at imaginary pieces of lint. He stared down at his lap and frowned, shifting in seeming embarrassment. "Thanks for cleaning up last night. You really shouldn't have done that."

"S'okay," she said and shrugged, yawning. "It's what friends do."

There was an awkward pause.

They both grimaced and looked away, searching for the elephant in the room.

Edward cleared his throat. "Listen, Bella, I know that we need to talk but I have to get into the office early today. No choice, in fact. The whole team is waiting for me."

He turned to face her again and his eyes burned with intensity. They were round and anxious and matched the rawness in his voice. "Could we do that though? Talk, I mean. Tonight? It's…important." He exhaled heavily. "It's important to me."

Edward's plea was so endearingly earnest that for the briefest moment Bella felt her heart swell excitedly and press against her ribs. She stared hard at his face. Even pale and hungover he was beautiful. He was beautiful inside and out and full of concern for her. Her stomach twisted and she fought an emotion she didn't want to acknowledge. She looked at his sculptured mouth and blushed, remembering how it had trailed over her last night...his mouth, his hands.

She blinked.

Wait.

Concern? She considered exactly what Edward might be concerned about. Did his feelings mirror her own burgeoning emotions?

Of course not.

She blushed deeper and remembered her rejection on the sofa. Her swelling heart deflated and perished inside her chest like a long forgotten rubber toy. Lilly, Lillian, whoever the fuck he imagined he was with instead of her. If the ground had swallowed Bella up at that moment, she would have welcomed it gladly.

Guilt. Of course. That's what this was about, she thought to herself.

"Don't worry about it," she said, waving him off brusquely.

"No," he breathed. "I think we need-"

"_Please,_" she cried out, her voice hard. She covered her face with her hands and scrubbed, angrily. "Look, Edward. I'm embarrassed enough about what happened, okay? Don't make me relive it. We know it was a mistake, let's leave it at that."

"A mistake?" he gasped. He pressed the backs of his knuckles into the mattress and they cracked loudly.

Bella continued as though he hadn't spoken. "I'd be perfectly happy if we don't discuss it. Ever. Just _forget_ it happened, all right?"

"I don't think I-"

"Aaagghh," she practically screamed and sat up, effectively bucking him off the bed. She threw back the covers and swung her legs to the floor. Edward moved back toward the wall and shifted from foot to foot, staring down and frowning.

Bella closed her eyes and inhaled. He was too close. He smelled too good. She opened her eyes and frowned. He looked like he was really worried about her and her own waring emotions were clouding her judgment. Even knowing he cared about another woman, desired another woman, she _wanted_ him. Bella knew if she didn't diffuse the tension in the room, she would do something they would both regret. Again. Lillian be damned.

"I need to shower."

"Bella, _please_. I-" his tone was anguished and he made to take a step closer.

"Aaah!" she cried out again, holding up her palms and waving them frantically. "Stop. Be my friend. Just _stop_." They stared at each other for a moment, both breathing heavily in frustration. Bella broke eye contact first.

"I'll see you later," she said. She felt something break inside of her as she stormed out of the room and down the hallway to the bathroom. She muttered under her breath, "Maybe." She shut the door to the bathroom, leaning her back against it and hot, angry tears welled in the back of her eyes.

Edward remained still for a moment, pressing his palms into the wall and deeply inhaling the scent in the room - girl and Bella. The aroma was bliss but the disappointment he felt was crushing. It was not at all how he imagined this morning's conversation would go.

He wanted to go to her but he knew that they didn't have time to really get into this now. He glanced at his watch and huffed in frustration. If only everyone wasn't waiting for him.

He walked slowly to the kitchen, picked up his half drunk coffee, tipped the cooled remnants into the sink and placed the cup upside down in the dishwasher. He knew there was still too much alcohol in his system for him to drive to work, so he used his phone to book a taxi.

He was hoping she might come out of the bathroom to talk to him once she had calmed down. Surely she knew that they needed to talk about this. Talk about it and then hopefully get back to some serious kissing and touching.

He hated leaving the apartment with this air of negativity hanging between them. If she would just poke her head out the bathroom door, smile at him and agree to talk later.

He stood, waiting anxiously and continuing to crack his knuckles. When he heard the sound of the water running in the shower he sighed wearily and gathered up his work portfolio. The team was waiting for him in the office. He had no choice. His footsteps were heavy and resigned and his heart felt completely dejected.

~~~~~TBT~~~~~

The three cappuccinos he had consumed over the course of the morning were keeping him functioning. Just barely. He had the twin sensations of brain buzz and feeling like he was moving underwater.

Edward was certain he had reviewed this particular page of the report several times. He rubbed tiredly at his eyes. At least it appeared the Port Hedland team had done a good job.

"Hanging in there, boss?" Shelly called brightly from her desk. "Need anything? More coffee?"

"No, no thanks, Shelly. I'm good." He smiled weakly through the doorway. "Well, as good as I deserve," he whispered under his breath to himself.

The pounding in his head he accepted as a result of his hangover but also as a painful, almost unconscious reminder that he had to make things right with Bella.

Edward needed to know why Bella thought what happened last night was a mistake. Obviously, the situation was less than ideal. Being blind drunk the first time he got the chance to hold and kiss her was definitely _not_ how he had imagined things panning out. His fantasies had been decidedly classier and with him demonstrating considerably more stamina and staying power than he had been able to muster last night.

Still, he hoped that his inebriated state was what she thought was a mistake, not the fact that they had finally expressed the passion that had been bubbling under the surface of their relationship – at least for him – for years.

He couldn't even bring himself to be embarrassed about losing control so easily, just like some horny, teenaged boy. He had waited too long for her. He closed his eyes and remembered the feeling of holding Bella. It had been such a shock to wake from his earlier despair and find her suddenly warm and fragrant, in his arms, where she belonged.

It was the best shock of his life.

An accident? Yes. A mistake? Hell, no.

She _couldn't_ think it was a mistake because she didn't have romantic feelings for him. He wouldn't entertain that. When the two of them finally touched like lovers it had been nothing short of electric – a heady explosion he wanted to experience again and again.

Seeing Bella climax above him had caused him to completely fall apart and not just sexually. Her touch had meant everything, had _been_ everything. He felt himself irrevocably and permanently changed. There was no way he was going to regret one moment of what had happened between them.

Even so, he wouldn't let his mind go back to what it had been panicking about earlier that night. He didn't want to think about the reason for his stupid, drunken rant. He couldn't bring himself to consider what might have happened between Garrett and Bella before she came home.

He shut his traitorous thoughts down instantly.

No. He definitely wasn't going there.

Edward was under too much pressure with these reports and his impending business trip to deal with that particular can of worms.

Still, there it was, relentlessly pounding at the back of his skull, waiting for him to pay it due consideration.

He hadn't tried to phone Bella, there wasn't time really and he thought it would be best to speak to her face-to-face. He was being a chicken shit and he knew it.

He did receive a text from Rose mid-morning.

_WTF Edward? Bella is crotchety as all shit today, like she hasn't slept a wink. And she won't talk to me. Something's up. What did you DO?_

He chose to ignore it. Miraculously and completely against type, Rose didn't pursue him. Edward wondered whether Bella had finally cracked and told Rose something of what had happened. Or murdered Rose at her desk. He grinned to himself as he considered the combination of a no-nonsense Rose and a sleep deprived Bella.

Startling him from his thoughts, Randall strode through Edward's office door and dropped the last report on his desk. "Your turn. It's good work. Hardly any review comments from me," he said. "That Kate Denali knows her shit. She's smart, Edward. We should look at bringing her over to head office."

"I agree. Her work is impressive – and consistent. She gets straight to the issues and she can actually write. Half the graduates these days haven't got a clue how to construct a damn coherent sentence."

Edward scratched the back of his head under his hairline, thoughtfully. "Do you know whether she's interested in moving across the country?"

"I know she's young and single. Who wouldn't be interested in moving out of the middle of nowhere to Sydney? Why don't we test the waters when we fly over?"

"Deal," Edward agreed.

It was late morning when he heard his phone buzz under a pile of papers on his desk. He shifted things around to locate it and picked it up, frowning at the unfamiliar number. Normally, he would let an unknown caller go straight through to voicemail but the prefix was from the Eastern Suburbs and his curiosity was piqued.

"Edward Cullen," he answered on the third ring.

"Oh, hello."

"Hello?"

"Edward?"

"Yes." Another pause. Edward cleared his throat before trying again. "To whom am I speaking?"

"Edward, it's Garrett. Bella's…boyfriend. Garrett Santiago."

* * *

**A/N: OMG! What does Garrett want? Edward's recipe for blueberry muffins? To ask him to skip the garlic when he cooks Chicken Alfredo for Bella? Perhaps dating Bella has all been a ruse to hide his secret crush on Edward...**

**I'd rather hear your theories.**

**If you have the time to share your thoughts - I'd love to read them - they're sure to be more interesting than what is actually going to happen - lol.**

**Also, for those of you who have been frustrated with Bella's cluelessness...these boys are about to dazzle you with their stupidity. Thanks so much for reading ~ AG x**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except characters who can't see the forest for the trees. Stephanie Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

**A/N: I got nothing - lol.****  
**

**Not betad. Apologies for any errors.**

* * *

**The Best Throw – Chapter 16**

Edward pressed a crisp twenty-dollar note into the sweaty hand of the cab driver and waved off the change. The thickset driver saluted him with a grin and a heavily accented, "Thanks, mate." Edward slowly unfolded his long frame from the front seat of the vehicle and stepped onto the footpath on Jersey Road.

As the taxi pulled away, Edward tilted his head from side to side, stretching his aching neck and hearing it make a satisfying crack.

It had been a long day.

There were only four or five people, most likely locals, standing and drinking outside The Lord Dudley Hotel. It was early in the evening and the waning sun cast lengthening shadows through the tall gums and oaks lining the surrounding streets. In a few hours the footpath on either side of the corner pub would be overflowing with patrons.

Edward caught the faint whiff of keg beer and almost dry retched.

It was a Pavlovian response. He considered living the life of a teetotaler…at least for a night.

He was physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. It felt like today was one of the longest of his life.

Before he left the office, he texted Bella to let her know that he was going to be out for the evening.

She hadn't replied to his text and he felt a surge of frustration and annoyance at her continued avoidance.

This morning, she had told him to back off. And then a surprising opportunity arose, allowing him to provide her with exactly what she wanted. He had decided to give her space. For now. At least for tonight.

He wasn't exactly sure why he had agreed to this meeting. Curiosity definitely had something to do with it. He had a nagging feeling that his might kill more than an innocent cat. Bella would probably be pissed. Well, even more pissed.

He supposed his reasoning to be some kind of morbid fascination at what Garrett might have to say. He knew quite possibly that this was a stupid idea. Still, he couldn't pass up the opportunity to properly size up his opposition.

He shrugged to himself.

This whole meeting had the opportunity to backfire on him, quite spectacularly. Thank God it was Friday. At the very least he could sleep late tomorrow.

"How did you get my number?" Edward had asked on their telephone call earlier that day.

"I'm not proud of this…actually." His next words came out in a rush. "I swiped it from Bella's phone when she went to the bathroom the other night." He allowed the silence to sink in on his admission before he continued. "I swear I'm not usually so devious. I just felt like…desperate times and all that."

"Desperate times?" Edward asked.

"Please. Let's not talk about this on the phone. I'd like to buy you a beer tonight. Perhaps at that pub you go to after touch football?"

~~~~~TBT~~~~~

Garrett watched as Edward Cullen sauntered into the hotel. He didn't normally pay other guys much attention but even he could tell that Cullen would be attractive to women. He was disturbingly good looking with a natural, unassuming charisma that gave the impression he was unaware of the effect he had on those around him. He also had that light stubble thing going on his face that Garrett knew lots of women liked.

Stubble didn't work for Garrett – his beard was heavy and grew at a blistering pace. If he abstained from shaving, by day three he wanted to wear a sign of reassurance _'I am not a terrorist'_. People gave him wide berths on the rare occasions he forwent a daily shave, darting nervous glances in his general direction.

It was the modern day curse of the Mediterranean man.

It was obvious to Garrett that Edward Cullen was one of those people to whom others automatically turned to stare and gape, whenever he entered a room. He had that sort of impact, drawing people's eyes like a magnet.

Garrett continued to scrutinize him. He was trying to find a flaw, notice something in his demeanor that indicated arrogance or self-centeredness. This was his enemy and yet he saw none of these things. He watched as Edward smiled, lifting his chin and eyebrows in greeting to a number of locals before he spotted Garrett.

Edward casually waved two fingers in acknowledgment and strode confidently across the room. Garrett stood up from the dark wooden table he had secured in the front bar and swallowed nervously.

The thing was - understanding Bella as Garrett thought he did – he knew that Edward's good looks weren't the problem. It was their _connection_ that was stopping Bella from giving herself fully to a new relationship.

Garrett hoped he could use the strength of that connection to his advantage. He was determined to find out just how good a _friend_ Edward Cullen was to Bella Swan.

Edward's handshake was firm and cool and Garrett was thankful that he didn't pull any of that macho bullshit, squeezing the living daylights out of the other person's hand. His smile was tight though, a mixture of curious and cautious.

Garrett pondered that Edward's was a sensible reaction. He still couldn't believe he had suggested this meeting. But he _was_ feeling desperate. He wanted to see for himself whether his gut feeling was correct – whether it was in fact _Edward_ and not Jacob who was blocking his path to happiness with Bella.

Of course, being guys they couldn't launch straight into the uncomfortable conversation they had turned up for. Garrett offered to buy the first round. Edward requested a coke but at Garrett's incredulous expression, sighed and said, "Sod it, I'll have a Peroni."

Edward pulled off his tie and undid the top few buttons on his business shirt. He shoved the rolled-up tie unceremoniously into the side pocket of his suit jacket and grimaced as he took the first sip of his drink.

They were well into their second beers and had covered a typical range of pub topics that guys cover – the latest political scandal in the state government, the woeful investment in New South Wales' local infrastructure, and their expert couch-opinions on how the Wallabies should approach their next text match against the All Blacks.

It was surprising how easily they fell into conversation and how many views they shared. Garrett couldn't help but consider – if it weren't for the fact that he believed Edward was standing in the way of his future happiness – he could almost see himself becoming friends with the guy. He was obviously a good bloke and surprisingly easy company.

Suddenly, the impersonal conversation dried up and both men found themselves staring into the tops of their drinks.

Garrett coughed awkwardly. "Listen, I guess I shouldn't beat around the bush anymore." He fiddled with the rims of his spectacles. "I really wanted to meet with you to talk about Bella."

Edward exhaled slowly and kept his tone guarded. "What about Bella?" He began to spin his beer bottle on an angle around his coaster and kept his eyes on the table.

"I know that you are one of her closest friends, maybe even her best friend."

"That's about right," muttered Edward emphatically, slowing rotating his beer bottle on its rim and continuing to eye it closely.

Garrett paused, waiting until Edward looked up and made eye contact. He kept his gaze direct and his voice deep and sincere. "I care about her, Edward. I really do. Very much."

"Good for you," Edward replied at once, his own face expressionless.

Garrett sighed heavily. "Look, I know how supportive you have been to her, how much you have helped her getting over this business with Jacob…and maybe that has made the two of you grow even closer."

Edward sat unmoving, his expression completely impassive.

"I know she likes me but something or _someone_ is holding her back."

Edward continued to sit and stare like some sort of unresponsive sentinel. "What are you implying?" His voice was soft but his eye twitched, betraying his inner turmoil.

Garrett was an empathetic character. He could see behind the façade, the effort Edward was making to not show any emotion. It pretty much confirmed his greatest fear. He decided to lay it all out there.

"You're in love with her too." It was a statement, not a question.

"Too?" Edward's face crumpled, his bluff shattered.

"I'm nuts about her."

"Well," Edward blew out a deep breath through pursed lips.

"Yes, well."

"I guess we're both bloody stuffed then." Edward gave Garret a sad, half smile. "How about another beer?"

~~~~~TBT~~~~~

Halfway through what was either the fourth or fifth round, Edward was feeling no pain. Two nights in a row. He _never_ drank this much, certainly not through the working week.

The sage words of Forrest Gump came unbidden to the back of his mind, "Stupid is as stupid does." He was too far gone to give it any real consideration.

It is well known that Australian men are gifted in the art of keeping their emotions in check, being stoic and not letting down their guard. Alcohol, however, has the ability to completely derail all previously learned traits.

Garrett and Edward were singing like canaries.

"Bella's so great," slurred Edward. He was rambling but he couldn't bring himself to stop.

"Gutsy, you know? She'll try _anything_ once. Always up for a challenge." He rubbed his hand through his hair, making it stand up on end. "And laugh? Jesus she makes me laugh, _all the time_. And _smart_. She's so bloody smart, she's always onto me and my crap."

"I know, right?" agreed Garrett, slapping Edward on the upper arm. "But she's kind too. She has a memory like an elephant – and she _listens_ when you talk to her. Looks deep into your eyes, stares at you like she really cares, like she knows your _soul_."

Edward nodded forcefully, opening his eyes when he realised they had been closed for longer than was socially acceptable. "Another round?"

"Sure. We should probably slow it down though."

Both men stilled for a beat and regarded each other solemnly. Then they threw their heads back and laughed like that was the best joke they had ever heard.

When Edward returned from the bar they fell silent as they sipped slowly on their fresh drinks. Of the two, Garrett was definitely the more clear-headed, not that that was saying much. He slipped two fingers under the rim of his glasses and rubbed at the corners of his eyes.

"Listen, Edward." He tapped his closed fist gently on the bar table. "We've got a problem here. We both care deeply for this woman and honestly, I don't think either of us stands a chance while the other is in the way."

"Possibly," mumbled Edward blearily.

"We're confusing her. She obviously has feelings for you that are stopping her from moving forward with me…and she probably wouldn't want to betray me to purse a relationship with you. Even if you actually had the balls to tell her how you feel," he added as an afterthought.

"Your point, sir?" muttered Edward sardonically.

Garrett ignored his tone. "If we truly care about her, care about what's best for Bella, about seeing her happy…one of us should step aside for the other. Give Bella a chance at fully developing a worthwhile relationship."

"Piss off."

"I'm serious."

"What do you want me to do? Kick her out of my apartment? Stop spending time with her. For you?" Edward snorted a laugh through his nose.

"For her. So she can be happy."

Edward leaned forward over the table. "No. Way."

Garrett sat up a little straighter and lifted his chin in determination. "Well, I'm not prepared to give in either. So I guess we are at something of an impasse." He took a long sip from his beer and narrowed his eyes at Edward. "I guess I hoped that you cared enough about her, as her best _friend_, to be the bigger man."

"Why don't _you_ be the bigger man and step aside for _me_?" slurred Edward stubbornly.

"Mate, you haven't even told her how you feel. Don't you think she might be a tad pissed off when she finds out you've been holding out on her? Plus, I happen to think _I'd_ be great for her."

Edward scoffed and blinked slowly. For a moment he felt the guilt consume him for not owning up to what had happened last night. Technically, Bella _was_ dating Garrett and Edward's hands had been all over her last night. No matter how much Edward felt that he and Bella belonged together, he had been in the wrong.

To Edward's great disappointment Garrett had revealed himself to be a really decent human being. He was certainly worthy of Bella and obviously cared about her a great deal.

The entire situation was so messed up.

Instead, all he could bring himself to say was, "As you say, an impasse."

They sat in silence for a while longer, continuing to drink steadily.

As Garrett swirled the dregs of his beer around the bottom of the glass, inspiration struck. "Well, if neither of us wants to _voluntarily_ step aside for the other," He quirked an eyebrow. "There _is_ another option we could consider."

"Oh yeah?" asked Edward, his curiosity getting the better of him. "What's that?"

Garrett took a deep breath. He suspected his idea might be flawed, but they were men.

They were Australian men and arguably that made them less evolved members of the species, Homo sapiens. Worse still, they were Australian men who had drunk a considerable quantity of beer.

Beer made every idea that raced through both their minds appear inspired.

Garrett was going to appeal to Edward's baser instincts, his competitiveness. Wasn't that a natural state that existed in all men?

"Listen, if this were the 1800s I'd offer to step outside with you and my dueling pistol." Garrett looked around the pub for inspiration. "But seeing as we're not…how about we settle this in a simpler, less messy way?"

Garrett tilted his head in the direction of a dartboard, mounted on a wall on the opposite side of the bar.

"Three throws, highest score wins, loser steps aside…what say you, Cullen?"

Edward let his eyes drift to the dartboard. His hands curled into fists and he felt his blood run cold.

* * *

**A/N: Boys. They MEAN well, they're just...stupid, yes? What do you think Edward's going to do? What might Bella's reaction be?**

**Thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to drop me a review. I love to read what you are thinking ~ AG x**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I own nothing bar a snorkel and some faded flippers.**

**A/N: Bluey is a REAL local legend in Clovelly/Gordon's Bay. He's kind of an Elvis - he was apparently killed by a spear fisherman but people keep spotting him. Look him up.****  
**

**Not betad. Apologies for any errors.**

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**The Best Throw – Chapter 17**

Edward groaned and threw an arm across his face. A determined ray of sunlight was hitting him directly in the eye from a gap in his bedroom shutters.

As the fogginess gradually lifted from his brain, he groaned anew. He remembered his stupidity from the night before and began softly thumping his closed fist against his forehead. He couldn't believe he had agreed to meet Garrett and silently blamed his actions on a combination of hangover and sleep deprivation.

He wasn't sure Bella would see the matter quite so cut and dried.

He had slept like the dead and felt better for it. Judging from the height of the beam of light that had attempted to burn a hole in his retina, he hadn't woken until mid or late morning.

_Bella_, he thought as he roused. His heart and stomach clenched in tandem. He needed to talk to Bella.

He stumbled blearily into the kitchen, his ears and eyes seeking out some sign of her activity in the apartment.

There was nothing but silence.

The dying aroma of toast and coffee lingered in the room and Edward's stomach grumbled reflexively. He looked around and saw a note pinned underneath a magnet on the refrigerator.

_Snorkeling with Garrett. Out most of the day. Threw a load of washing on – could you put it out to dry? Thanks – B_

"Shit," he muttered. Her note was perfunctory, cool even. The tenor of the message demonstrated none of her usual wit and warmth.

She had no idea what was coming.

Edward shivered, thinking about what Garrett might be saying to Bella at this very moment.

He was so stuffed.

~~~~~TBT~~~~~

The day was crisply clear, allowing for great visibility under the murky seawater. The Silver Bream and Stripeys were plentiful. They appeared suddenly and then disappeared, darting amongst the giant, waving leaves of seaweed that rested on the ocean floor, atop craggy black rocks and greyish white sand. The current was mostly warm with an occasional burst of cool as Bella and Garrett snorkeled in the ocean waters between Clovelly Beach and Gordon's Bay.

Bella loved watching the rhythmic dance and sway of seaweed underwater. It was hypnotic. When she saw the slimy leaves washed up on the shore she was revolted by it and wouldn't have touched it with a barge pole. But alive and twisting gently under the ocean waters, it was breathtaking.

She thrilled at the sensation of her body drag as she kicked and stroked her arms gracefully through the seawater. The added buoyancy from the salt and the fact that she was wearing flippers reminded her of being a child and wishing she had been born a mermaid or a dolphin.

Bella knew it was childish but she also loved to jerk her head around and watch her dark hair swirl in slow motion through the water around her face. It would have been far more practical to tie it up when she went snorkeling but long hair underwater always looked so pretty.

She paused for a minute to glance through her goggles and study her fingertips. They were looking decidedly puckered but she couldn't care less. She could stay underwater for hours.

She and Garrett had spotted several Gropers but no sign of the famous and friendly local, Bluey. From the corner of her eye, Bella spotted a tiny flash of black and yellow. She turned her head and swam quickly toward it, waving her hand frantically at Garrett to point out the Moorish Idol. She had never seen one out here before and was ridiculously excited.

Garrett smiled and nodded and then pointed upward and away, back toward the shore. He'd obviously had enough and wanted to go back.

Bella had noted his much more subdued mood today. She was concerned it was because of her rejection of his physical advances, two nights ago. But after her encounter later that evening with Edward, she couldn't bring herself to offer Garrett much reassurance. So the day had gone along - pleasant enough but quiet and guarded.

They shrugged out of their flippers and pushed their snorkels and goggles from their faces. Bella was grinning broadly as she trudged through the long stretch of beach and up to one of the shower stands with taps underneath to wash the sand from their feet.

"How great was _that?_" Bella beamed. "Seeing a _Gill_!"

"A Gill?" said Garrett, confused. He bent down and used his fingers amongst the stream of water, cleaning the sand from Bella's feet. His hands massaged her soles and seemed to linger long after the white grains had drained away.

"The Moorish Idol. _Gill_. From _Finding Nemo_."

"Oh," he replied, straightening up and brushing his hands together. "Sorry, I never saw that movie."

"How could you not have seen that movie?" she laughed incredulously. She tiptoed away from the tap to a stretch of dry concrete. "Everyone has watched Nemo at least once, haven't they?"

Bella reached for where they had left towels on the grass and reflected for a moment that Edward would have immediately understood the significance of the fish.

"Guess everyone except me," he replied, smiling wryly. He reached inside Bella's beach bag for his thongs and sunglasses.

"I'm sorry," said Bella, feeling chastened. "I didn't mean to-"

"Don't worry about it," he said dismissively but kindly. He pulled on a t-shirt and pushed his prescription sunglasses up his nose. "You want to get a bite to eat?" He pointed up the concrete walkway to the white plastic chairs that were arranged outside the café and kiosk overlooking the beach.

"Sure," she smiled at him, slipping into her own clothes. "Hey. Thanks for going out there with me today. I really enjoyed it."

"You bet." His words were casual and light but Bella noticed his expression was pensive.

"Garrett?"

"Yeah, Bella."

"Is everything okay?"

Garrett sighed heavily and reached to sling Bella's beach bag over his shoulder. "Why don't we go and sit down. I think we need to talk."

~~~~~TBT~~~~~

Edward was lying on his bed, reading. Well, he was trying to read but he'd looked at the same paragraph about twenty times and all he could think about was the conversation he needed to have with Bella. It was almost six in the evening. He had waited at home for her all day. He'd been manic in his nervousness and, as a result, the apartment bordered on being surgically clean.

He mentally reassured himself that, surely she would return soon.

He couldn't bear to try calling her while she was out with Garrett.

At that moment, he heard the front door open and slam shut.

"_Edward Cullen!_"

He swallowed and closed his eyes. Shit. Showtime.

Edward swung his feet out of bed and ran toward the front door. He stumbled over a stool at the kitchen bench, stubbing his big toe. "Bugger it," he muttered and hopped for a moment on one foot. He moved forward until he was standing about a foot away from Bella.

He drank her in. She was magnificent, standing in a green tank top and grey shorts, still wearing her bikini underneath, a beach bag slung over her shoulder. Her hair was a wild halo, windswept and stiff from the salt. Her shoulders and cheeks were pinked, making her freckles more visible.

Edward frowned. He felt momentarily annoyed that she hadn't worn more protection on her fair skin. Then her scent wafted over him. She smelled of the sea, all brine and fresh breeze. He fought a deep longing to draw her into his arms and breathe her in.

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you fucking _kidding _me?" she growled. Her eyes were flashing wildly in anger.

"Bella, I-"

"Shut up. Don't you _Bella_ me, Edward Cullen. I can't _believe_ you."

Edward frowned. "Have you been with him all day? What did he tell y-"

Bella pointed an angry finger at his face. "_You_ don't get to ask questions. _You_ shut-up and listen." She took a moment to calm her ragged breathing. "I've been at Rose and Emmett's most of the afternoon, trying to calm down." She flashed her eyes angrily at Edward. "It didn't work. I only came here to pick up some clothes and yell at you."

Edward's shoulders slumped in defeat. "Bel-"

She ignored him. "So. All of a sudden you have feelings for _me._ You have _feelings_ for _me_?"

"It's not all of a sudden." Edward's voice was hushed.

"And you decide to discuss them with _Garrett_," her voice raised an octave in disbelief. "Jesus, Edward. Why would you do that? Why wouldn't you tell _me_ for Christ's sake?"

"Bella, I-"

Bella did the waving hands thing that she did, silencing him immediately. "Anyway, why all of a sudden. Why _now?_ Just because it looked like I might be starting to be happy with someone else? Were you worried about losing your playmate, your flatmate? What the fuck were you _thinking_?"

Edward had sense enough to know that she didn't want him to respond while she was on a tear. He stood silently, breathing heavily through his nose and clenching his fists tightly.

"And what about Lily, Lillian, whoever the fuck she is? Where does she fit into all of this, Edward? Huh?" Bella was pacing now and Edward couldn't help but think how glorious she looked in her anger, even while his heart sunk realising he was the cause of her anger.

"Huh?" he said, bewildered as he considered her accusation. "Who's Lily?"

"_The love of your life, dickhead._ Remember her? The one you're waiting for?" She was pacing furiously in front of him. "Don't play coy with me, Edward."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, his voice growing louder along with his confusion. "Who's _Lily_?"

"Well, it certainly wasn't _me_ you were thinking of the other night on the sofa. It was _her_ name you spat out, not _mine_. So I think you need to give yourself a very big shake and work out what the hell you think you are doing." Tears began trekking down Bella's cheeks, darker pink streams through the white salt.

Edward took a step closer and Bella drew back, as though stung.

"Because I thought you were my _friend,_ Edward – my _best friend_. And the way you've been acting this week…it's as though you are trying to _ruin_ my life." She was sobbing openly now.

"Now, just wait a minute," Edward's voice was louder, sharper. "Just pull your head in for a second and calm down." Edward held his palms outward and tried to reign in his own building temper.

"We need to talk, Bella."

"Nope. Shut-up. Right now I hate you and I can't even look at your face." She pushed past Edward and strode into her bedroom, slamming the door.

Edward stayed rooted to the spot in the living room, wondering what the hell had just happened. He didn't understand half of what Bella said but he knew that there was some major miscommunication going on. He needed to get her to calm down. He needed to do it right this very moment.

He walked to her bedroom door and pressed his mouth into the gap in the door jam. "Please, Bella. I need to talk to you. I need to let you know how I feel. You're right. I should have spoken to you first. I screwed up, I know, but _please_ give me a chance to try and explain." He pressed his forehead into the wood of the door, imploring, "Whatever it is that you are thinking right now, you're wrong." He considered his last statement for a moment and frowned. "Unless you're thinking that I'm crazy nuts for you. That would be right."

There was no response from inside the bedroom. Edward banged his head gently against the door. "Please. I'm still your best friend. Please come out and talk to me."

With a gust of air the door swung open in his face. Bella pushed past him with an overnight bag in her hand. "I'm leaving. I'll be with Rose and Emmett."

"No. Stay. Please." Edward's voice was anguished.

"I'm too angry with you. I can't even think straight right now."

"Bella, don't leave. Not tonight."

"I'll talk to you in a few days. When I've calmed down. Maybe." Bella kept her eyes on the floor. She couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"No. We won't."

She flashed her eyes fiercely at him. "What does that mean?"

"Have you forgotten? I'm leaving tomorrow for Western Australia. Site visits with the new auditors. I'll be gone for a week and a half."

Bella closed her eyes and drew her brows together. She counted slowly to ten. "Fine. After that then." She walked to the front door and twisted the door handle without opening it.

Edward's frustrated hands were bothering with his hair, his neck and his face. "No, Bella. It's too long. I can't leave town knowing we're like this. I'm begging you to stay." Bella heard the floorboards creak as he took a step closer. "You have to know how much you mean to me," he said, his voice husky and raw.

Bella's shoulders shook with emotion and hurt. She closed her eyes and shook her head back and forth, her back still to Edward. "How much could I possibly mean to you after what you did? I thought our _friendship_ at least was important to you."

"Bella-"

"I mean-" Bella's head hung low as she stared at the floor. Her voice was rough. "When we met, we were kids. We were stupid, drunk, uni students. We were meant to do stupid things." She turned to look at him, her eyes full of reproach and unshed tears. "It didn't matter then. But, we're not kids anymore, Edward." She jutted her chin and willed the tears to stay put. They ran slowly down her face anyway.

"A dart game," she said, choked. "After Jacob. After all these years, all we've done together, all we've meant to each other…you were prepared to throw me over for a game of darts."

"_What_?" He breathed deeply to calm himself before he spoke again. "What exactly did he tell you?"

"Well, after he broke up with me and then started to tell me about your testosterone fuelled challenge, I didn't give him the chance to say much else. I bolted."

"Bella."

"What?"

Edward's hands were wrapped around the back of his head and his forearms were pressed against his temples as he drew a sharp breath. "It never happened. He suggested it. I said no. I would never risk losing you over something as petty as a game of _anything_. Not again. Even blind drunk and stupid. I learned my lesson almost six years ago. Not ever again."

Bella's voice broke over her words. "It never happened?"

"No. Of course not." Edward's tone was emphatic.

Bella continued to stand at the door, her back to the room, frozen. Her knuckles turned white as she tightened her grip on the door handle.

Edward longed more than anything to take another step closer, place his hands on her bare shoulders and pull her back into his arms but he was scared that any movement might cause her to flee.

Regardless, she was about to do it anyway.

"It doesn't matter anyhow. There's still her…there's…so many things wrong with this. I just can't do it right now."

She drew in a deep shaky breath. "Goodbye, Edward," she muttered and swung open the door, walking through it and pulling it closed firmly behind her. The movement of air washed over him, cloaking him in defeat and the click of the lock was the loudest sound he had ever heard.

* * *

**A/N: Like that poor bastard said in Love Actually, "Enough now." Give the angst a rest, AG. Okay, okay.**

**I seem to have picked up a few new readers. If you have the time, I'd love to hear what you think. Thanks so much for reading.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: No offense, Stephanie Meyer.**

**A/N: Blah, blah, blah. Sorry for the late post.****  
**

**Not betad. Apologies for any errors.**

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**The Best Throw – Chapter ****18**

_Edward's email from Western Australia_

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: Presenting my arse for kicking

Date: 29 March 2012

Time: 1:07 am

To: Little Duck Swan

Bella,

Devon sandwiches.

Specifically, devon sandwiches with tomato sauce.

Little duck, I want to be able to tell you that you are the only woman I have ever loved. That just wouldn't be honest. I want to…I need to…be completely honest with you.

Her name was Jessica. She was tiny but fierce. She had incredibly pale, freckly skin and she smelled like coconuts. I think it was the Coppertone sunscreen her mum made her wear every day to school.

We were ten. Eric Yorkie said I fell for her because her boobs came in early. That wasn't it. She was the best skateboarder I ever knew. Plus she let me swap my vegemite sandwiches for her devon with tomato sauce. Esme had an aversion to buying processed meat. To me, it was manna from heaven.

Bella, I _know_ you.

Your initial reaction will be to delete this email before you even read it, right? For Christ's sake, I'm begging you.

Don't.

I get that you are pissed with me. Seriously pissed off. I guess I would be too, if I were in your shoes. For all the reasons.

But.

If our friendship has meant anything to you at ALL, and I _know_ it has, PLEASE read this.

I know that I've been naïve and displayed poor judgment but BELIEVE me - my intentions were always for the good.

I may be as thick as ten planks. Twenty-five unanswered calls to your mobile? I get it. You don't want to speak to me right now.

I should let it go, give you some space.

I can't.

This is too important.

You are too important.

I let you go the other night because I knew you had too much anger to hear what I had to say, plus I knew that Rose and Emmett would look after you. You need to hear me now. God knows I'm dying to hear you. Your silence is killing me. I need to talk to my best friend.

There are a couple of ways you could interpret this email.

First, maybe you see this as a continuation of my piss weak approach to our situation so far. You might even consider me a total wanker for opting to write this down instead of speaking to you. Honestly though, Bella, what else can I do when you don't answer my calls?

I'm desperate for you to know. I can't wait until I get home.

Perhaps, another way to look at this email is as though it were a heartfelt letter, something along the lines of a correspondence between Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett. See? I pay attention when you talk about your favourite books. You could consider this a frank and honest exchange where I declare the depths of my feelings toward you.

Obviously, I am hoping that you are going to go with the latter.

So here it is…to quote Zorba the Greek…the whole catastrophe.

In some ways, it's a relief to write this rather than attempt to speak to you. Because, whenever I think about speaking to you, my head becomes so jumbled - it's hard to gather my thoughts.

Now that I've touched you and kissed you, held you against my body, it's all I want to do.

Literally. All. I. Want. To. Do.

But, I need to think clearly and articulate this properly.

I only got to kiss Jessica Stanley once. We'd just been skateboarding at Heffron Park. I came off and landed on my tailbone. She knew that I was trying my damndest not to cry and she didn't care a wit. I thought what we shared was the real thing and I word-vomited my feelings to her. The whole experience was a disaster. Afterwards, she told me she couldn't kiss me anymore because my breath smelled.

Bloody devon sandwiches.

I guess one of the first things you might like to know is why I didn't own up and admit my true feelings to you before now?

In part, it was because once you moved into my apartment, things were so very nearly perfect between us.

Bella, you are my best friend. I want to share music with you, take you to the theatre and to see movies and play touch football with you. I want to fight with you about politics and the global economy, lament and empathise about the many social injustices in our world. I want to cook with you, I want to rub your feet when they get cold (pretty much all the time) and I want to hold you tight and kiss your hair when you feel sad. Your hair smells really good, by the way.

The ache I feel when I leave you each morning, is only eased by the fact that I know I can call you and text you and email you throughout my day. I can let you know the annoying, frustrating and hilarious things that are happening in my world and find out everything that is happening in yours.

You have no idea how big I smile when it's time to go home from work. Knowing that you will be there, every evening, makes me reconsider my impeccable driving history. I'm that damn eager to get home to you.

So yes, one of the reasons for my hesitation in telling you about my feelings was the danger of jeopardizing all we already have. I would move mountains to ensure that we never lose it.

Having said that…

The bloody honest truth of the matter is that no matter what we already have - and as much as I cherish it - I want more. Yes, I'm that greedy. I can't hide it from you any longer and I don't want to.

To be completely specific, I want more touching.

I want touching and kissing. Oh yeah, and I want the touching to be frequent, extensive and naked. Lots and lots of frequent, extensive and very naked touching. Slow, fast, hard, soft. I don't care. Incidentally, the soft would be you.

I want it all. And I want it all with you. Only you. Every day.

I love you as my friend. I fancy you to an embarrassing degree. I just bloody love you. You are, in fact, everything.

I want to show you how much you mean to me. You might think this is me, being a guy and talking about sex. To a certain extent it is but when you love someone you want to give him or her so much more than just sex. You want to share everything you are and everything you have in the most intimate and vulnerable way.

I still want frequent, extensive and very naked touching.

Just to be clear.

Will you let me? Even though I've behaved like a daft prick?

I've also been holding back because I was waiting until I thought you were well and truly over Jacob. Even though he behaved appallingly, it has taken you a long time to truly shake him off and the control he had over your life. You committed yourself to him so completely over the years you were together, and well, it's one of the reasons that I love you. I know that sounds weird but I love that quality in you – the way you stand by people and the way you stood by that relationship.

I needed to be sure he was out of your heart and head because I didn't want anything between us to be tainted by him.

It's taken you time to regain your confidence, to become the sassy and confident Bella Swan that I fell for all those years ago.

Out of the blue, you started seeing Garrett. Initially, I didn't think much would come from it. It seemed pretty casual. I thought you would date him a few times and he would go the same way as that douche paramedic, Kevin.

I thought I had time.

The other night when I got drunk, it was because you were out with him and I had this sudden, inexplicable feeling that I had lost you. It completely overwhelmed me and I panicked.

I'm pretty sure that I left the dartboard unlocked that night so I guess you know about that, too. I bought it after you had been going out with Jacob for a month or so. At first, I used to play it, over and over, just in case I got a chance at a rematch. There was no way I was going to lose a second time.

Hey.

I felt you slap the back of my head at that last statement (see how well I know you?). Just hear me out.

After a while I could see that you and Jacob were serious about each other. And yet, I kept the dartboard. I used to play it every now and again. Usually when I was feeling a bit down and often after I broke up with another girl. I kept trying, but I broke up with each of those girls when I realised that how I felt about them would never hold a candle to how I felt about you.

Playing on that dartboard was sort of like penance.

I KNOW that it was stupid to meet and talk with Garrett. I was confused. I was desperate. I was curious. I was hungover.

These are reasons - not especially good ones, I grant you, but not excuses.

I'm so sorry. It was wrong. You're right. I should have had the balls to speak to _you_. Even though you didn't want to talk. I should have waited until you were ready.

I was shitting myself with worry and the insecurity that maybe Garrett was better for you than I was. I was even more worried that you had fallen in love with him.

Honestly? He's a great guy, Bella. Surprisingly, I really liked him. I know that sounds strange but he was actually good company.

There's something you need to know though. He's _not_ better for you than I am. _I'm_ your person, Bella. Out of all the people on this planet, I'm your person. You have to know this.

And yes, I'm a dumb-arsed male but I'm not dim enough to risk losing you over a game of darts. Well, not again. Certainly not after all this time and knowing how much you mean to me.

I realise that all of this probably comes as a complete shock to you and very likely too much for you to take in, right now.

Please use this time while I'm away to think about it, think about us. Think about it very thoroughly before you tell me how you feel.

You don't how long I've waited for you. Even I didn't fully realise until Rose and Alice hit me over the head with it about a year and a half ago.

They told me to make myself worthy of you. That's what I've been trying to do ever since. I don't date anymore because there isn't any point. I only want to be with you. I want to be the man worthy of Bella Swan. The girl I was waiting for? It's always been you, little duck.

This other girl you mentioned? Lily? Lillian? Whatever. I don't know who she is. I've NEVER dated anyone with that name. Believe me. I knew exactly whom I was holding in my arms the other night. You know this is the truth because I've never lied to you.

I'm fairly certain that I fell in love with you on the day that we met. And every day since, I fall a little deeper.

I fought it, Bella. I knew that Jacob won the right to date you in that ridiculous game and that you loved him for a time.

I accepted it and I tried to find love for myself. That's what all those girls I dated were about. But it always came back to you. Always.

I'm so sorry for overwhelming you. Rose has told me before, I'm on page 300 with this thing and you haven't even picked up the book.

Please Bella, pick up the book.

Start reading this story of Edward and Bella and what they could be. After you read it, I want to continue writing it together. Our story. If it doesn't grab you after chapter 1, sit on it for a while and give it a chance. Remember how you struggled with The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo at first? You stuck at it and in the end, couldn't put it down. Or the subsequent two books.

Stick with us. Please, Bella.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that although you are the Buzz Aldrin to lay claim to my heart - I'm finally over Jessica Stanley.

Devon sandwiches are another story altogether. They may well be my Achilles' heel.

I want you to be the second and last woman I will ever love.

You're it for me, Bella. Please search your heart because I think you know that this is the truth. I think I just might be it for you, too.

Yours

Edward

PS: If, after thinking about this long and hard, you don't feel the same way about me? I'm basically stuffed. So, please pretend you never received this email and still be my friend.

PPS: I've attached my flight details, just in case you feel like meeting me at the airport when I come home on Wednesday night. No pressure or expectation.

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**A/N: This was always just a simple story. To the readers who are frustrated with the pace, I'm sorry. If you are still reading I thank you so much. If you have time to share your thoughts - positive or not - I appreciate them a great deal. They help me to try harder. AG xx**

**Devon is something of a mystery manufactured meat product in Australia (I think it's meant to contain pork along with God knows what). It's cheap and was often given to kids in their school lunches, back in the day.**

**DreamerRoad? I'm quirking my eyebrow at you, right now ;)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: No offense, Stephanie Meyer.**

**A/N: I wish RL allowed me to do this all the time. It's a lot of fun. Sadly it does not.****  
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**Not betad. Apologies for any errors.**

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**The Best Throw – Chapter ****19**

_**Before Edward's email…**_

That damned, pale suit with the buttoned up waistcoat got to her, every time. But more than that, it was his face. It was the dark, heavy brows, one quirked and imploring you to see the truth beyond prejudice. The oppressive heat of the courtroom combined with his own anxiety, causing his combed back hair to flop forward into his left eye.

His was the wisest, most intelligent and compassionate face she had ever known. He was the epitome of her most beloved, fictional hero. Whenever she read the novel, and she had done so once a year since high school, Gregory Peck spoke the words, just the way she imagined Atticus Finch would have done.

Bella stood with her hands on her hips and her legs apart. A deep scowl marred her brow. She was facing off the _To Kill a Mockingbird_ film poster on the office wall. "Damn you, Atticus," she growled with attempted menace. "You've ruined me for all men. How do you expect any of them to live up to your ideal?"

"Uh, Bella?" stage-coughed Rose. "You're talking to inanimate objects again."

Bella glanced over her shoulder and grimaced, unrepentant. "Atticus never let me down. He's perfect."

"He's fiction."

"So?" Bella jutted her chin in defiance. "I love him like he's real."

"Atticus Finch won't keep you warm at night."

"It's only the beginning of autumn, I don't need someone to keep me warm right now."

"Winter's coming."

"Stop with the _Game of Thrones_ quotes. You're a pervert for watching that show anyway."

Rose grinned evilly, cupped her breasts and mouthed lasciviously, "Boobs." Bella rolled her eyes in response but couldn't help biting back a small smile.

Sighing heavily, Rose stood and paced the room before turning back to Bella, her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "You know, if you think about it, he's done some pretty amazing things, just because he loves you."

"Shut up. I don't want to think about it. Anyway I'm angry with you, too."

Rose's eyes widened. "Why me?"

"You knew exactly how he felt and you never said _anything_."

"What are we, Bella? Thirteen? I've suspected he was in love with you for years. _Years,_ sweetheart. Honestly, would you have wanted to hear it from me when you were shacked up with monkey-roid-boy?"

"Yes," said Bella through gritted teeth. Rose raised both brows and gave her a hard stare. "No," Bella sighed, her expression resigned and despondent.

"Whatever," Rose tossed her head, shrugging one shoulder. "I love you both and you know this." Her expression softened and she tilted her head. "You going to stay pissed for much longer?"

"Yeah," Bella replied and kicked an empty cardboard box across the room for good measure.

"Okay."

Bella was angry. Angry and confused. Being angry and confused also made her somewhat unreasonable. She didn't care. She felt entitled.

Even Ardi, the butcher from downstairs had noticed Bella's unusually sour mood.

Normally, Ardi took great pride in being able to draw a smile from the most grim-faced customer, simply by displaying his natural _joie de vie_. He considered it both a challenge and responsibility of butchers, hairdressers and cosmeticians the world over to be the bright spark on an otherwise trying day for his regulars. He was pretty sure he was as good at it as any psychologist of psychiatrist. He just didn't get the big bucks.

"Ordering for one today, Bella?" he had asked with surprise, just the day before.

"Yep," Bella answered sharply. She tapped her credit card briskly on the counter. "What of it?"

"Sorry," he muttered, chastened but undeterred. "You're always talking about the recipes you and that boy you live with are going to cook. It sounds like you have fun together, _in the kitchen_." He smirked, unaware that his implied innuendo could not have been more poorly timed.

"Men are dicks, Ardi," Bella's tone was flat and her face dark. Ardi's shocked expression shamed Bella enough for her to add, grudgingly, "Sorry, present company excluded."

Turning his face downward, Ardi concentrated on wrapping up Bella's order in crisp, white paper. "Allah," he muttered under his breath. "I can get this shit at home." He took a deep breath and made a last ditched effort to engage Bella in a smile as he made eye contact, handing her order across the counter. He always thought Bella was such a pretty girl with a beautiful and ready smile. He almost didn't recognise the expressionless features before him. Her mouth remained in a straight line as she took her order with a quiet, "Thanks."

"I tried," he breathed. He shook his head sadly as he walked back to the cool room.

It had been five days since Edward had left for Western Australia. Bella wouldn't admit it to herself but she had done little than think about him. Instead she focused on stewing in her anger.

It was difficult for Bella to narrow down the things she was most angry about. There were so many. Being an angry, young woman also meant that she was prone to over analyzing.

She was angry with Edward. She was angry with herself. Surprisingly, none of her anger was directed toward Garrett and she found that strange.

Also, she missed Edward. She missed him terribly. She was used to speaking, texting and emailing Edward multiple times a day. The fact that their lack of communication was self-imposed frustrated her further. She wanted to talk to her best friend about the other friend who was behaving like a dick. It pissed her off that they happened to be the same person.

Bella and Rose were both focused intently on their computer screens when there was a knock at the door. Assuming it was a delivery, Bella walked across the office and yanked the battered oak barrier away, a polite smile on her face. Said smile slid right off when she saw who it was.

"Should I leave?"

"Probably. Depends on why you're here."

"To apologise."

Bella sighed and looked down, shaking her head. "You did a dumb thing." She glanced up wryly and wrinkled her nose. "But I'm pretty sure that you aren't the only one who should be apologising."

He pushed his glasses up his nose. "Can you take a coffee break?" he asked softly. Bella looked over her shoulder at Rose who waved her off with a hand in the air.

"Sure. Just for a few minutes."

Garrett and Bella sat at one of the outside tables at Zignolini, a café/restaurant just across the road from the office. The air was crisply cool and matched Bella's mood.

"I'm not even sure why you're here, Garrett. Pretty sure you broke up with me, said some stupid things, I swore at you and ran away." She sipped her coffee. "That's how I remember our last meeting anyway."

Garrett smiled sadly. "I didn't want to leave things between us like that." He shifted awkwardly in his seat and rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. He squared his shoulders and sat up straight, clearing his throat awkwardly. "I suppose you and Edward have sorted things out between the two of you?"

"Not even close."

"But I thought-"

"Listen, Garrett. You and Edward might have this sort of relationship but I am _not_ comfortable discussing this with you."

"He _is_ what was holding you back from us though, isn't he?"

Bella sighed heavily and shrugged. "I guess he is. It doesn't mean _anything_ though. I'm still a mess. I don't know what I'm going to do."

Garrett reached his hand to cover hers. Bella flinched but didn't move away. "I know what we did was stupid. All I can tell you is that we're both crazy about you. It's not an excuse but at least everything is out in the open now. That's why I told you what I did after we went snorkeling. I want you to be free to decide whatit is that you really want."

Garrett squeezed her fingers and then loosened his grip to trail his fingers over the back of her hand. "I didn't suggest we stop seeing each other because I don't want you. Believe me, I want you. I just suspected that Edward might have me beat." He huffed through his nose and shook his head. "But no more dating, no more forcing things to happen before you're ready. You work out what it is that you want…and then let me know. I'll be here. Whatever you decide."

Bella nodded, thoughtful and slightly uncomfortable at the longing in Garrett's voice. Unexpectedly, she felt a swell of emotion, her eyes filled with tears and she couldn't speak.

Garrett squeezed her fingers again. "I want you happy, Bella. And I want you in my life. In whatever capacity you want, as your friend or something more. Knowing everything, if you decide Edward's not your future, well, I'm still here. That is, if you can bring yourself to forgive me."

Bella calmed herself by sipping her coffee as she considered Garrett's words.

Suddenly she knew.

With alarming clarity she _knew_ one, hard truth. She blinked back her tears and faced the kind-hearted man sitting across from her. It was time to own up to reality.

"Garrett?" He lifted his eyes questioningly to hers. "I don't know what will happen between Edward and me but there is one thing I know for certain."

"Mmm hmm?"

"You're wonderful. You're kind, intelligent, thoughtful, attractive – the whole package."

"Shit."

"Listen. Wait. I _should_ have those feelings for you Garrett." Bella inhaled and exhaled quickly, seeking confidence. "But I don't. I've been trying to force myself to feel more than friendship. It's not there, not for me. I'm sorry but regardless of anything else, I _know_ I can _only_ offer you friendship. To pretend there's the possibility of more is simply wrong. I'm sorry."

Garrett's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed and he exhaled heavily through his nose. "Well."

"I'm so sorry, Garrett," she repeated.

He rubbed his fingers under the frames of his glasses and closed his eyes for a moment. "Thanks for being honest, I guess." He chewed his lips, his expression rueful.

Bella felt rotten for hurting Garrett. It went against her very nature to cause pain to another person. And yet, there was another emotion underpinning the guilt. She felt it break over her, wave after wave. She realised that she had finally begun taking control of her life. Finally. She recognized what she wanted, or more importantly what she didn't want.

She felt empowered. It was the best feeling she'd had in five days.

~~~~~TBT~~~~~

_**After the email…**_

Because of the time difference between Western Australia and Sydney, Bella's phone pinged with an incoming email a little after 4 am.

The sound woke her and she just knew it was from Edward.

She stayed strong and managed to ignore the temptation of it for about three minutes. After her eyes confirmed that it was indeed a message from him, she threw the phone under her spare pillow and pressed her face into her own pillow, groaning loudly. Another two minutes passed with agonizing slowness. She checked her phone again, her finger hovering over the delete button.

She couldn't do it. As angry as she was, she needed to know where his head was. She couldn't bring herself to speak to him and had ignored too many voicemail messages to count. But reading what he was feeling without him knowing how it affected her? It was a temptation she couldn't resist.

By 5 am, Bella's face felt feverishly hot and yet her hands were like ice. She pressed cool fingers to her cheeks but they did little to relieve the heat. She felt flushed and bothered in all the right places, having read Edward's email at least six times. Certain passages demanded repeated readings. Passages that contained words like _frequent_ and _naked_ and _touching_.

Unable to get back to sleep, she sat at the kitchen bench, one hand lifting a cup of tea to her lips, her head resting heavily on her other hand, savouring Edward's words, again and again.

She ran a gamut of emotions, amusement, frustration, sadness, surges of happiness and desire but most of all, love. She shook her head and sighed at how completely Edward had bared his soul to her in a most typical Edward-like fashion – with humour and self-deprecation and total, candid sincerity. The one emotion she no longer had was any sense of anger.

For the umpteenth time over the last five or six days, Bella gave herself an internal slap upside her head. The part of Edward's email where he referred to her by her nickname, _little duck_ and then went on to explain that he didn't even _know_ someone named Lily or Lillian…well, it was obvious that Bella's main competition was her own stupidity. Of course he had known who he was with the night he held her.

She remembered the feel of his bare chest under her hands, his skin like silk covered steel and wondered what it would be like for them to explore each other, warm and flushed, skin on skin. There was no denying that she longed to know him intimately. Frequently sounded pretty damn good as well.

Still, there was something holding her back.

It was there, in Edward's words – he had it too.

Fear.

It was a fear of losing what they already had. Bella finally knew without any hesitation that she loved Edward, unconditionally and unreservedly. There was no way she could live without having him in her life as her best friend, her closest confidant. He had to be part of her life, always.

Would stepping into a romantic relationship with him jeopardise that?

Would they be hot and heavy for a few months, a few years perhaps and then come to an end, like her and Jake? Would he get bored with her? Would they grow apart? Would it destroy their friendship? Was it worth it?

Bella knew this was the question she needed to answer before Edward came home. Could she risk everything?

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**A/N: I have no idea if anyone is still out there reading this. To those lovely readers who wrote to me, concerned as to why I was not posting - thank you. I am still caring for someone who is unwell and will be doing so for some time. We are almost to the end of this story. I will post when I can.**


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